Hi Everyone - I know that I am not suffering from the dreaded "C" however I think that partners, wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, whatever, suffer also. John has just had his fifth bout of chemo and is being very sick, despite strong anti-emetics. I feel absolutely helpless and useless - does anyone out there feel the same? Sometimes feel like stabbing myself in the eye to relieve inner tension as it is SO HARD to watch loved ones suffering. Anyone out there feel the same??!!!! Lol xx
FormerMember
Believe me I know, My wife has undergone a little over a year of Chemo and would get sick every time. But the worst time was in Feb. when the doctor come into the room and said " Do you have a living will?" There was nothing else they could do. She started crying. She is in pain all the time now and was admitted into the hospital on Wed. I know what you are going through. I heard crying and even screaming all day and night. She didn't even sleep in the same room with me because she didn't want to wake me up. She was even on fentanil, vicadin, and hydromorphone. It was still constant pain. So yes I do know how helpless you feel I still feel helpless that is why I came to this website. I am trying to deal with all this myself but you and I know there is nothing we can do except just give them love. I know even just a good hug helped her if only for a minute physically, mentally it helped me too even though I was sobbing like a baby. I will tell you -----it is easier said than done when taking care of a loved one with cancer. She might not have long, but I will try to make the time she has left the best days of her life. Good luck to you Jes
My darling husband has had 17 months of chemo therapy after major surgery for oesophegael cancer. All was well then a scan showed us it wasn't it has spread. Next scan had shrunk some tumours but our latest one, no more can be done. I am so frightened and helpless.
He went into hospital last Saturday night and is still in on drips. He was found to have a viral infection and high temperature but after a week they cannot find wat the virus is. He cannot walk now and needs help all the time. I just want him home with me, but the doctors wont let him come until they identify where the infection is. A little bit better today but I am finding it hard to take a day at a time. I am now hoping for a miracle, I cant give up. Its so hard and I am so tired. Just want him home!! I cant live without him. I also am doing the best I can but it is almost impossible to carry on.
I cannot say I am in the exact situation but my wife has gone through chemo for about a year and 3 months. They said there is nothing they can do, this was 4 months ago. Recently she went into the hospital and came out worse. She is home now and resting comfortably in the bedroom. Obviously I am making this story as short as possible but she can't walk either and needs to have different bags and undergarments changed all the time. I have a monitor if she needs me if I am not there. I know you said you just want him home. This is very loving. That is what I wanted and wouldn't go back. Konnie told me she wants to die at home, she knows it is coming. I don't know what happened to your husband since you posted this but I hope you both are at peace with yourselves. Konnie has been home for about a week now and it is more stress than I have ever had in my life. Basic training was easier. Don't take it lightly but you can do it. You just need to not show the pain you feel to him. I could be wrong but I think it is better when I am working on her or giving her food or doing whatever to make her more comfortable to not show what you know is going to happen. I usually wait till I get out of the room and then Niagra Falls. It is hard to see them in pain and it is equally as hard to see them not able to move without your help. Hang in there. jess
