it is , with a heavy heart i sit here writing this , on wed my brave mum slipped away from us , the hardest thing is that we got to the hospice ten mins too late , it was very quick and unexpected as i spoke with the doctor earlier that day and she told me that she thought my mum had 2 weeks at most but they were not expecting it to be iminent, i saw her last at 8.30 pm and she was very sleepy and trying her best to talk to us but she was confused , my last words to her were . i love u mum , and she told me she loved me too , and we left , we got a call at 2.30 am to say we needed to get there but she sept away at 2.45 am ,with the hospice staff holding her hand , they said it was very peacefull and that she was not in any pain , her breathing changed at 2.10 am and she was non responsive , in a coma , they gave he some morphine just incase she was in any pain and she took her last breath at 2.45 am , we arrived at 2.55am , it is heart breaking,although i know my mum would not have wanted us to see her take her last breath as she knew how hard and how upset we would all be , she died on her younger sisters birthday , we are all devastated but in a way we are also relieved that her suffering has cme to an end , in the last 18 months she has had to endure the most imaginable things , surgery , chemo , radiotherapy, odema , blood clots , terrible sickness and in the last 2 months she had bowel obstruction which meant she was vomiting up faeces , up to 7 times a day , torture , if there is a god why does he let people suffer such things , my mum wanted to be given a pill to end it all and we were helpless, cancer is the worst illness ever , it ravages the body ,mind and soul , my mum was a carer all her life , she was devoted to her family , never smoked or drank and really looked after herself and for what , to be punished , i am so angry , , i would not wish what she suffered on my worst enemy , she never complained , the hospice and hospital staff called her the patient ,patient , to me she was my hero , i am so so proud of her and yet so so sad and angry and in pain , to watch someone u love suffer like that is something i will never ever get over . and now i just want to get through the funeral which i dunno how , how do u get through this , i gotta be strong for my kids but i dunno what is gonna happen wen its all over , how do u just carry on , i miss her so much and did not get the chance to tall her all the things i wanted to , i feel robbed , part of me wishes i could die with her , i know thats selfish but my heart is broken , she has been my rock all my life , and now she is gone , i am glad se is at peace now but i miss her so so much ...
FormerMember
i know u of all people can understand how my mum must have felt and i cannot egin to imagine what that must be like for you , you seem so strong and so focused and yet u have so much to deal with , u remind me alot of my mum , i know that even in her last days her main concern was us and ur right she would not have wanted us to see her take her last breath , i think maybe in her own way she managed to prevent that from happening , she was the rock of the family and wen things went wrong it was her everyone went to , especially me and she stood by me everytime , i would just like to say that ur family must be so so proud of u as we were of our mum and it means such alot to me that u have taken the time and the thought to write a message , i am very grateful , and i hope that u continue to feel good , cancer is such a lonely disease and my mum always put on a front but i know deep down how sad she was inside , i wish u all the best u are an inspiration to all of us . and ur kind words have helped alot , thanks again , take care xxxxxxx
thank u for ur kind words , i take comfort from them as i hadnt thought aout it like that , she is in me and will be forever and i will try and be more like her , thanks again .xx
a huge thank u to all of u who tok the time and the thought to leave a comment , i have found all of ur words have given me comfort , its people like u who help people like me get through this terrible time , and hopefully one day i will be able to do the same for someone else , thanks so so much , kind regards angie xxxxxx
So very sorry Angie. Any one who has lost their mother knows the depth of your despair, you've lost your anchor and are adrift, but you will always have the love of your mother and your love for her in your heart. A good and loving daughter is such a blessing to a mother. May she rest in peace. linda
