it is , with a heavy heart i sit here writing this , on wed my brave mum slipped away from us , the hardest thing is that we got to the hospice ten mins too late , it was very quick and unexpected as i spoke with the doctor earlier that day and she told me that she thought my mum had 2 weeks at most but they were not expecting it to be iminent, i saw her last at 8.30 pm and she was very sleepy and trying her best to talk to us but she was confused , my last words to her were . i love u mum , and she told me she loved me too , and we left , we got a call at 2.30 am to say we needed to get there but she sept away at 2.45 am ,with the hospice staff holding her hand , they said it was very peacefull and that she was not in any pain , her breathing changed at 2.10 am and she was non responsive , in a coma , they gave he some morphine just incase she was in any pain and she took her last breath at 2.45 am , we arrived at 2.55am , it is heart breaking,although i know my mum would not have wanted us to see her take her last breath as she knew how hard and how upset we would all be , she died on her younger sisters birthday , we are all devastated but in a way we are also relieved that her suffering has cme to an end , in the last 18 months she has had to endure the most imaginable things , surgery , chemo , radiotherapy, odema , blood clots , terrible sickness and in the last 2 months she had bowel obstruction which meant she was vomiting up faeces , up to 7 times a day , torture , if there is a god why does he let people suffer such things , my mum wanted to be given a pill to end it all and we were helpless, cancer is the worst illness ever , it ravages the body ,mind and soul , my mum was a carer all her life , she was devoted to her family , never smoked or drank and really looked after herself and for what , to be punished , i am so angry , , i would not wish what she suffered on my worst enemy , she never complained , the hospice and hospital staff called her the patient ,patient , to me she was my hero , i am so so proud of her and yet so so sad and angry and in pain , to watch someone u love suffer like that is something i will never ever get over . and now i just want to get through the funeral which i dunno how , how do u get through this , i gotta be strong for my kids but i dunno what is gonna happen wen its all over , how do u just carry on , i miss her so much and did not get the chance to tall her all the things i wanted to , i feel robbed , part of me wishes i could die with her , i know thats selfish but my heart is broken , she has been my rock all my life , and now she is gone , i am glad se is at peace now but i miss her so so much ...
FormerMember
You will get through it because you are your Mum's daughter. Have your cries, you need to do that, but just know she is within you and your children. She is in your veins always. She will always be your rock. And what more would a mother love to hear than, "I love you" from a child? I lost my mother to cancer also. I carry her with me always. She will always be my rock. I am so sorry for your loss. XXOO
I'm so very sorry to hear the sad news about your mum. You've clearly been through the most awful traumatic time, and you can't help but question why such awful things happen to decent people - its almost impossible to make any sense of it. Be comforted by the fact that your mum knew how much you loved her, and even in her confusion would have been reassured just by the sound of your voice, Somehow you will cope, although I know at the moment you have no idea how, and having your kids will help you through. Let it all out, cry, shout at the injustice, but also look after yourself too - your mum would want that.
hi , i am so sorry for your loss, and alough you wish you were there at the end i`m sure your mum was glad you weren`t, cos i don`t wan`t my family to watch me die. you said your mum wanted to take a pill near the end and that`s just how i feel, not just for me but to save my family just a little less pain, your mum seems such a wonderfull person with wonderfull family, i would like my family to remember me not the cancer in me and i am sure your mum`s the same, remember the happy times, the silly times, and the normal times, i know you read my blog so you know i`m feeling good,try and remember your mum`s good times and that she loved you, and get through the horrible times ahead, whatever way you can, your mum would want you to live life to the full.
I'm so sorry that your wonderful mum has now passed. The last words she heard from her beloved daughter was that you loved her and she was able to tell you that she loved you too. It will be hard over the next week or so dealing with all the 'official' stuff that has to be done so I hope there are others around you who can give their support. Cancer is a cruel disease and affects EVERYONE so you will all deal with your loss in your own way. Tears are good so don't be afraid to show your emotions but try to focus on your happier memories with your mum.
You sound such a wonderful daughter and your mum was very lucky to have you .
Your mum sounds amazing and very strong and hearing you tell her you love her will mean more than anything cancer is terrible and to see any one in pain is hard and when its your mum i agreed about what you said about god .
My Love to you be strong as your mum would want you to be .
