ok so i think i finally figured out how to blog on the new mac site! very confusing i must say!
so here it goes...
my beautiful boyfriend is 24, and was on his road to recovery after battling stage 4 bowel cancer for a year and a half.. major bowel surgery ended up with a colostomy, liver re section, and two lung operations to remove mets.. all very successful, with chemo and radio.. his poor body was in shock from everything but he never stopped smiling..
he went yesterday for his 3 month check up... first since the last surgery.. i was at work and he rang the door bell, i answered and his face was ghostly white.. his eyes were red and i knew something was wrong "its not good" and then he told me, the cancer was now in his lymph nodes in his chest, his liver and in the stomach... wat the hell?
devestated is not the right word.. im distraught... i feel like someone is playing a sick joke on me.. how can he go from being nearly cured to terminally ill? so fast? it was only 3 months since his last scan, and now it shows the lymph nodes? how can they have missed this? im so angry that my baby has been fighting so hard to only be told there's nothing more they can do except trials now...
i feel as if life is not worth living without him.. he's the love of my life, constantly telling me how beautiful i am, how lucky he is.. he's the most beautiful person ever.. how can i watch someone i love so damn much wither away? the diagnosis is probably 12 months or less.. thats just not enough time for us.. i cant even begin to accept that.. how will i cope?
:(
