2 year struggle

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

28 Apr 2011

I havent been on here for ages. I used this site alot just after my mum died.. but now 2 years on i find myself back on here, because i am really really struggling right now.. I keep on getting told to get on with my life, that im lucky, i should be over my mum now.. and so thats what i pretend to do...but i need her, really, really, really need her. I need her guidance, her love, i cant put it into words, but im finding it increasingly hard to live with out her. Since she died i have lost so much confidence, i was never overly confident when she was alive, but she boosted me, she gave me self worth, she encouraged me, believed in me, and boosted my self confidence.. And now im gradually loosing more and more confidence. I feel so alone, i just want some one to help me, to guide me, to love me like my mum did. She was 19 when i died, i know i was lucky to have her for 19 years..but now im 21 and the serious issue in live have arisen... its now i really really need her..

I used to be close to my mums family, but its not the same, my dad and mums parents dont get on, and my nan always criticises my dad and my family.. my dad wants to move away which is going to cause massive issues..

I dont know the point of this blog.. just thought writing it down to people who may have a vague idea might help.

thanks for listening x

FormerMember over 13 years ago

I wish I could just give you a big hug. My dad died 2 years ago and I realy miss him. My husband has terminal cancer and although he would not be able to make the problem go away I know a hug from him would help. I know what you mean about people expecting you to move on. I want to tell my friends how much I miss my dad but I never do. I have recently started some counselling sessions. I did not want to be referred and I did not want to go but I'm so glad I did. I can not believe how helpful it has been to talk to a complete stranger! It may not be for everyone but it is certainly helping me and I am so pleased my GP suggested it. perhaps it is something you could consider?

Yoko
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Hatz,

I have more than a vague idea hun It has been over 9 months now since i lost my dad and i could have written your post myself.

I have been especially down lately and went to see my GP yesterday, he has referred me for counselling too, i am against it a bit. but i said to the doc i don't talk to people close because i don't want to upset them whereas with a Councillor i won't care as much about what i say or describe. I'll give it a go, its helping Yoko, maybe it'll help me too and maybe it'll help you.

Think about it hun and if you decide against we are always here to listen.
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Just to add too, at your age chick ofcourse you still need your mum. I am 31 and i do need my dad. Familys change so much when someone close dies, it's strange.

Take Care. xxx
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

My mum died over 10 years ago and I still miss her and would love to just talk to her one more time, but it does get easier and it is the happy moments that you remember. It took me over two years just to accept she had gone, I went to the doctors and had some consulting and it really did help. Also try and talk to your nan explain how you are feeling also to your dad although that may be harder because men deal with death different from woman.

Hope you find peace soon, it will happen.
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Hatz,

Just you tell those people who keep telling you that you should have got over your Mums death. You never will she was your life and she will be beside you for the rest of your life. Look after yourself.May

your Mum R.I.P.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx
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