The long wait

1 minute read time.

12 Feb 2011

I finish radiation and chemo on tuesday and then wait 3 months before all the scans are done to see how successful treatment has been. While I look forward to ending treatment and not having to spend all my time at the hospital, I know this will be a very anxious time. What if it hasn't worked? How will I feel if I have to go through it all again? Am I strong enough to face that? It has been an ordeal., If anything it has been more of an emotional strain than a physical one. Having spent much of it in hospital away from my beloved pets and bored out of my scull. The constant waiting around for appointmentments desperate to just be at home. The rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs. The violent swings in mood. It has been a strain and I don't know that I would be strong enough to face it all over again. I want to enjoy the next 3 months as much as possible and I know I must try not to let my fears spoil it. I must learn to go with the flow a little more and accept that some things simply are beyond my control.

FormerMember over 13 years ago

Well done Harvey, you are so near the end of lets hope is the last round,and the results are good. Cant really give you any advice sounds as if you are giving yourself a good talking to, but dont beat your self up I can bet a while ago you never thought you would have the strength for what you have achieved, so give yourself a big pat on the back....Take care and flow flow flow xx
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Harvey,

You have said it now its waiting time. As you say go with the flow. What ever will be will be. All the best and good luck.

Take care and be safe Sarsfield.
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Harvey,

You are right to be concerned about the waiting stage to come. Of course they won't/can't scan you right after treatment because all the swelling and such needs to go down before it would be useful.

However, in my case, after several delays, there was a suspicious residual lump in my neck. Then there was a delay to have a needle biopsy collected. Then there was a delay getting those results, and then those results were "inconclusive"!

More delay to meet a surgeon, then delay for the surgery. I finally had a limited neck dissection surgery 6 months after my treatment, and only then was given "remission" status.

In the end my result is as good as it can be. They won't say "cured" for five years, though.

Unfortunately in my case, I was un-able to even hope for the good outcome during all of that time, and spent most of that time preparing myself to die. Instead, I'm alive, and now trying to put my life back together.

Hopefully you can maintain a more positive outlook while waiting than I did!

Good luck,

-Seth
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Harveysmiles,

Ed and I were amazed at how much the chemo and radiation keep on working after they stop zapping you. He felt changes every day, and even thought that there were more effects during the month after treatment stopped than during the 5 weeks of treatment! As you predict, it's nice to quit hanging around the hospital, but instead hang around home. You can laugh at your crazy bunnies all day now. Best of luck to you, and know I'm thinking of you.

Pilla xxx
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