I am waiting for my Macmillan nurse. I have been referred but as yet have heard nothing. Is two weeks a long time to wait?
I find it so hard to understand where I am at and which questions I should be asking who. Is my endoscopy great news or actually a disappointment. I actually have no idea of knowing. I have no fasmily member or friend to go to appointments with me and am often too tired to do the research myself.
My tumour seems to have shrunk but it has not gone. So far I have not been able to discuss this with anyone other than peopple on this site. It could actually be a terrible result.
I felt good when I first read the endoscopy report but then a colleagues doctor daughter said of the current size of my two centimeter was "bloody enormous" which terrified me.
Then it became apparent that my idiot colleague had told her it was origionally 6 millimeters instead of centimeters. The fool!! Does she not realize these slips of the tongue can tip me over the edge.
The doctor had to use a pediatric endoscope as they could not get the adult one past the stricture in my oesophagus so that explains the continual swallowing problems. They intend to stretch my eosophagus at the end of june so maybe then I will be able to eat more normally. I believe I will be happier then as the continuing limitations in my diet are really getting me down now after 9 months of fortisip and scandishakes.
I am so grateful to the people on this site and really do not think I would have got this far without them. It is strange but I honestly feel that I owe my life to a tremendous group of people that I have never actually met. This online community has been a real port in a storm for me.
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
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