I liquidized minced beef, gravy, carrots, gravy and tomato puree and cooked it in the microwave I gave it another wizz and made sure all was well cooked through and it was the best meal I had in months.
I had previously found that I could not deal with the appearance and mixed up taste but, well , you get desperate after a while don't you?
Quite how I have got from chronic anorexia nervosa, then almost back to a normal relationship with food to this I will never understand. I ask myself whether years of malnutrition has impacted on my health and caused this cancer somehow but the experts cannot give me any insight into this as they are only expert in eating disorders or cancer and not any possible link between the two.
Of course I rage at myself and blame myself for the past years of a wasted youth that took me on the rounds of hospitals and trteatment centres and berate myself for not recovering sooner when I would have been able to have some years of normal life.
The relationship I have had with my body over the years would make a good horror movie so perhaps I should start work on a script.
Still, not much likelihood of getting fat now eh?!!!!!!
