I knew I would likely feel a bit low after the chemo and radiation but, I must admit the depth of my depression has been alarming. I tell myself all the time that it will not last forever and try to take each day one step at a time. It is hard coping ith the tiredness and not being able to eat. I would kill for a slice of toast and am sick of the sight of mashed potato.
My bunnies keep me going. Lucy has had a phantom pregnancy and I keep finding little nests all over the house. I've tried to tell her that the little op she and the others had makes babies impossible but I do not seem to be getting through. Bless her! Perhaps I should get her a teddy.
It is another 6 weeks until the scan and endoscopy and I sometimes worry about how I will deal with it all if the results are not good. I admit I often find the fear quite overhelming. It amazes me how bravely others on this site live with the uncertainty. I wonder if I will ever lose that sense of dread that all too often threatens to turn me into a quivering mass of jelly.
