Well, here I am. A stone and a half lighter and my hair comes out when I touch it.
So, what happened? Well, I started chemo and radiotherapy, but felt sick from the start. No one thought much of that until two weeks later when I had chronic diarrhoea which started after a relaxing reiki massage. For a minute I thought the massage had taken too much of a toll on me.
I was admitted to hospital on 18 February after bloods were taken and all my levels were going down. I spent two weeks in hospital in a right old mess. Hooked up to all sorts, inclusing oxygen which freaked me out. I lost all my dignity during those two weeks. Nurses prevented me from getting to the loo in time, they then had to deal with the mess. I got to a point where I didn't care who saw my body as I seemed to be permamently half undressed thanks to all the wiring. I had syringe drivers here there and everywhere. In my second week I got a groshong line fitted. Quite possibly the strangest thing I've experienced in a long time.
Eventually I was told I'm allergic to chemotherapy. My world sort of crumbled that day as I really thought chemo was what would get me through. Luckily my Consultant saw how down I suddenly was and explained the radiotherapy is what I needed, the chemo was just a nice back up to have, but there's no reason why I won't get through this without the chemo. Suddenly thing's felt better again even though I seemed to be permanently on the loo.
I had two blood transfusions, and after the second one I was allowed home. Only after tests after tests as they wanted to be 100% sure I'd be OK. Finally I was home, and to be outside felt amazing. Fresh air suddenly felt like a luxury.
I spent a week at home with my groshong line still in. Felt weird and wasn't enjoying it being in. My chest ached and I couldn't sleep in positions I wanted. I also noticed the dressing never looked tidy. I changed it and kept it clean. The following week on the Monday I got a nurse to re dress it.
That Friday I had diarrhoea and was vomitting. At this point I was having 2 sessions of radiotherapy a day. Some people thought it was my body reacting to that, but when my consultant saw me I saw the look which said "this isn't right" I was shivering too constantly and when they took my temp it was 39.1 degress celsius. I was admitted there and then. My blood count showed my white cells were sky high and I was trying to fight something but not managing it.
Turned out my groshong line had got infected and I had bacteria in my blood. I was on drips all weekend and eventually my bloods were normal again, and the groshong was ripped out. I was free of that evil little device! I went home on the Sunday!
I'm now sat at home, a week after finishing radiotherapy. I'm very sore, very very sore. Last Tuesday though I was told the bacteria I had in my blood could attach itself to a heart valve. So for the last week I've had nurses come twice a day to give me antibiotics by IV. That finishes tonight. I cannot wait!
So tomorrow, I'm free of everything. It's just me and my meds. And probably a lot of sleep.
Just thought I'd update you all while I am awake and have the energy!
I hope you're all well and I hope to be on here a bit more!
Oh something positive...I've nearly raised £1k for beating bowel cancer charity :-)
http://www.justgiving.com/Hannah-Bery/
Speak soon xx
