An apology in advance as this is a bit of a rant. It would help to know if anyone else is experiencing this or anything similar.
I am experiencing a lot of opinions from colleagues and some friends about grief.
“I don’t know how you do it (in relation to me working, going out, speaking to people, leaving the house) if I was you I would never go to work/leave the house again.”
“How are you not more of a mess?” “Why have I never seen you cry?”
This I think is adding to my feeling of guilt about not grieving properly!
I feel like I have to explain my decisions and explain that actually I wouldn’t normal sit round and not do anything so when I start trying to get back to normality you actually realise things aren’t normal.
I am trying to very patient with people and explain myself and I almost feel like I am trying to convince people that I am not a horrible person who doesn’t feel anything. Both my parents where get up and go types, not ones to sit around worrying or being negative and believed in living life to the full as you don’t know the minute.
Okay rant over!
On another note – memory loss! – I have (had?) an excellent memory and good attention to detail but recently I have a memory like a sieve, I’ll get a text message read it and then completely forget its existence an don’t reply, someone will be telling me something and I realise I have not the faintest clue what they are talking about (which makes me feel really mean and rude) whole conversations just simply pass me by.
Is that normal? Or is it just rude that I am not paying enough attention? Honest answers please.
Thanks for reading.
xxx
