hmmmm

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FormerMember

26 Jun 2012

hiya

just feel like having a bit of a moan today so hope you dont mind.have been feeling really emotional today as it would have been my mums birthday and its my first without her....ive had 2 down weeks building up to this and at times ive felt like i was gonna burst as i feel trapped within myself(if that makes sense) just in need of someone to listen and someone to care just like i do with others....as far as it goes i wear my heart on my sleeve and have no quarms about telling my friends and family how i feel about them or that i love them.....but to open up fully and share the pain in my heart is so hard!!! and there arnt many people who see that vulnerable side to me..you look for the people who are supposed to care for you and love you.......some will be there and others DO THEY REALLY CARE!.....im left in surprise today cause alot of the people who i thought would care and offer support actually didnt!......and the ones i thought wouldnt bother too much stepped up to the plate to be there.

im not a selfish person and family and friends are my life,id give anyone my time if they needed a friend or a shoulder to cry on but it dont seem to work both ways most of the time,anyone know why?....some people are all take take take!A very special friend of mine has given me 3 hours of her time to sit listen and offer support today and it means the world to me.....i wish she knew how much!

life is hard and family and friends so precious.....so why is it that they seem to be the people we have least time for and overlook?I want to say thanks to my friends here who have supported me through the tough times and let you know its appreciated so much......you know where to find me if ever you need a friend.At times like these you find out who your real friends are!

sorry for the moan but needed to get that off my chest.xxxxxbig hugs to my mac friendsxxxxxxxxxxlins

FormerMember over 12 years ago

really cant figure out how to attatch a title to the blog????dont know what i did wrong!never mind.xxxxx
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

really cant figure out how to attatch a title to the blog????dont know what i did wrong!never mind.xxxxx
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

Hi lovely,

I found it really weird all the way along my treatment how some of my 'best'' friends could not be seen for dust, yet others who I hardly knew stepped up and were amazing.

I think a lot of it has to do with understanding. If you have had some grief or crisis or some difficulty in your life you understand better what others are feeling and going through. If you have never experienced anything hard, you just don't get it.

I remember when my mum died one of my friends being awful and just not understanding how I felt.. get over it etc. I did think one day your mum will die and you will understand and look back and think Oh.

Unfortunately we can't make people see. I still have people who will cross the road and not look at me. i don't think it is because they think I am contagious, but that they don't know what to say or how to react.

Cherish the ones who understand as they are worth their weight in gold.

And a big hug to you from me... sorry not been on the site much- full time working again and planning for a class trip leaving tonight means too tired to do anything sensible. Oh hang on, I never do anything sensible.... you know what I mean. Hugging you till you smile remembering how lovely your mum was xxxxxxxxx
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

I know what you mean... When my dad died, the people who offered me the most support were two women I work with. I know them, but not really that well, but they were so kind and were just 'there' and it made such a difference.

On the other hand, my two sisters-in-law and my two adult stepdaughters were nowhere to be seen. Since my father-in-law has recently died, it is quite interesting to me to see my sister-in-law (his daughter) and remember how dismissive she was of me, "It's just what happens at our age, parents getting elderly and dying", and notice how she is now coping. It's a very different story now that it's HER dad. That sounds very nasty and it's not meant to be, but you get the impression sometimes that some folk aren't really all that interested if it doesn't direcctly affect them... Weirdly, I wasn't too bad on my dad's first 'missed' birthday: it was Fathers' Day that got to me more. You're right about knowing who your real friends are. I won't ever forget those two lovely ladies and how much they helped me, but I won't forget the cold shoulders either.

Big hugs x x x
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

Dear Linsss! Have some hugs.

As Lm says cherish those who understand. I know what she means about friends who cross the road.

But on this site, we all have experience and that is why it's such a great place to come, especially when you need support.

Love,

Colin xxxx
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