The remission finally came to an end with a crash last Wednesday at my regular onco clinic. The PSA had gone up again to my highest ever level, -20, which is peanuts to other men! The onco registrar, bless her, had ordered an up to date CT scan. The last was done on 1 November last and I'm going to ask for a copy of that one to find out what it showed then. The latest scan showed significant advancement of all mets in the pelvis with at least two new fractures! I know because the Registrar gave me a copy to take home; treated me like an intelligent adult.
What I didn't know until last Wednesday was that I also have lungs, mediastinal glands, liver and one kidney pole all involved with the mets and that these have advanced since the last scan. So my great tall dark onco consultant was not straight with me in November 2013. Yes, he showed me the CT scan on his screen to demonstrate the fracture on the right that was causing so much pain and put me onto crutches. But no, I had the impression that all mets were confined to the pelvis when this was clearly not so. Since then the rats have had a field day, first on bicalutamide, then decapeptyl injections and now on seven months of abiraterone. I must admit that February, March and April were the best months I've had since diagnosis last year and I was almost pain free, day and night.
I am angry with my consultant as he seems both unable to face up to telling patients the whole story and then telling them later when it all goes wrong. He delegated the telling of my bad news to his lovely Burmese lady Senior Registar. She and the Senior Assistant Specialist from The Lebanon are superb with me and I trust them to get me through this. So are the oncology nursing staff. I never wish to face the consultant again, but I'll have to as the Registrar works for him on his team. Worse still, I couldn't get a straight answer out of him at the time of my first RT in November last. He did't explain exactly where he was shining his magic rays and seemed confused between left and right sides! This time he gave me RT to my right posterior pelvis, as far as I can find out, without an up to date CT scan! That was ordered later, by his Senior Registrar, bless her, as a result of the symptoms I was getting.
My heartfelt understanding goes out to others of you who have problems with their consultant. Doctors vary so much. This one, I think, is technically minded and views patients as so much meat to be put under his microwave machine. Fortunately those who work with him, including his radiotherapists, are not like that at all and I cannot praise them highly enough for the way they cope with old codgers like me.
Off to the clinic later this week for first, a new patient assessment, and next day the chemo itself. Next weekend should be interesting. I expect my wife to pull a few fingers out and get help if we need it and I am out of action. Intend not to worry about that in advance. Family are in contact but don't live next door. Update will be done sometime after the chemo infusion when I have some idea how I'm reacting. I'd like to thank all those who have posted their thoughts and reactions to chemo, not just on the Prostate Cancer group. You have been a great help in preparing me and controlling some of my anxieties. Bless you all.
