MY WONDERFUL RAY

I have brought my wonderful husband Ray home from hospital today so that he can pass away in his own home. I cannot tell you what I am feeling at the moment as my emotions are all shot away. The palliative nurse has told me that he has days or even a week before he is with me no longer. I cannot imagine life without him, he is my soul mate, my lover, my friend, my everything and the love of my life and I don't know how I will cope without him. He is asleep in his own bed at the moment after 2 weeks in hospital where they did everything possible for him. All of the nurses fell in love with him and called him a wonderful gentleman. He didn't know until this week that the cancer had gone completely out of control so it was bit of shock, but as usual he took the news with great dignity. I on the other hand feel cheated. Is this normal? I now have to go and tell his 87 year old mum (who has already lost 2 children) that her son will not recover. I think this will finish her off. I am on autopilot, trying to make him comfortable while really just wanting him back with me as he was before this terrible disease took hold of him. We only found out he had cancer in February and time has gone so fast since then. He had 4 bouts of chemo which was awful and had two more to go but the cancer broke through it and invaded his liver even more. I want to let everyone know what a champion he is to me and hope that he doesn't suffer too much before he goes to his father, sister and brother who have already gone. I have told him that he will see them all again shortly hoping this will give him some comfort. Ann