I have only just joined as well, so forgive me for my gabble. My husband is at the moment sleeping - not coping very well with his 4th round of chemo. He is totally shattered, lethargic and his legs don't seem to work. He is on daily carboplatin tablets and epirubicin intraveniouslly every 3 weeks. It is knocking the crap out of him and I am totally at my wits end. I know he is not the only one suffering but to me, to see him having everything dragged from him slowly is devastating. Is this normal on the 4th round of chemo? We know his cancer is terminal but we are hoping that after 6 rounds of this chemo (one every 3 weeks) it will give him longer, however sometime I wonder. They say the tumour has shrunk a bit so that was good news and then you go on a high for a while until the next round of chemo knocks him back. Sorry to sound like I am whinging but I am at my wits end today and have had a good cry.
FormerMember
Sorry to hear you and your husband are having such a rough time. It is so hard to watch while your loved one suffers, and six cycles of chemo do seem to go on for ever. My husband finished six cycles of chemo for terminal lung cancer in March. It's only natural to worry what benefit chemo will give, but you already know that the tumour has shrunk some, and there are only two more cycles to go now. There is plenty of support for you on this site, so don't be afraid to let off steam here. Sadly there are so many of us carers who know just what you are going through. I cope by taking things day by day. I hope you have some support, either family or friends for yourself. Easier said than done i know, but you have come along way with the treatment, try and stay strong for the last lap.
I am sorry to hear that your husband has terminal cancer, I hope he a little better noW after his chemo and you are enjoying your time with him. It was lovely to get a response so quickly, sometimes you feel so alone even though I have a lovely family sometimes it's easier to talk to people you don't know. He has just woke up and looks awful, however I shall heed your advise and keep on going. He is such a good man and to see him like this is killing me (you must know how I feel). I shall carry on with this site as it is lovely to chat to people who understand and know what we are going through. I have this terrible fear that I am being selfish moaning, but it really is nice to offload. He was diagnosed in February and it seems like years away, we were in Mexico at Christmas and he was perfectly normal, no signs of ill health at all. He had a triple heart bypass 8 years ago and came through that fine, so I know he is a strong person.
My partner who is 42, also has advanced cancer with liver secondaries. We have been told it is inoperable but treatable at the moment. He is having palliative chemo and he has had 1 cycle with 2nd one starting tomorrow.
Although he had little side effects from the chemo, since he has been off it he has been quite ill-has had a lot of sickness and the weight is dropping off him, although they have said it is not the chemo that is making him sick as it started when he was on his weeks break.
I know what you mean about how very hard it is watching your loved one go through all of this pain and not be able to do a damn thing about it! I have watched my partner go from 17 stone to 12 stone, i feel like he is wasting away before my very eyes. I started off feeling positive but i feel that just lately im not feeling that anymore. Unlike you i have no family around, my partners family are about 60 mile away and my family are about the same distance in the opposite direction! So its just us, we do have a fantastic macmillan nurse who visits fortnightly at the moment but i feel sometimes that i have no one, that is why i come onto this site quite a lot as i dont feel so isolated.
Please feel free to pm me anytime if you want to chat, take care, am feeling your pain, Julie x
Many thanks for your kind reply, I am so sorry that you are also going through the same scenario. Life really is crap isn't it. I only joined this website yesterday because I felt so inadequate at not being able to do anything for Ray. I just want to make him better but now believe that is just not possible. He is 62 and always been so strong, could do anything and loved his game of golf, now he can hardly walk and I have to do everything for him. He has a chest infection at the moment and is in bed sleeping as he feels so crappy. My boss is being absolutely great and I can work from home which is good but I feel that I am putting on everyone at the moment. My doctor has just contacted a Macmillan nurse who hopefully will be in touch shortly to help out. It's just not knowing what to do to help, it makes me feel useless. The side effects of the Chemo are really bad, he has no sickness just no energy and lethargic and weak which for him is the worst part. I am so sorry you have no one near you to support you whilst you go through this terrible time, please keep in contact so that we can share each others thoughts, my prayers are with you. Annxx
I too am writing whilst hubby is resting/sleeping in bed whilst fighting the side effects of his 2nd dose of 2nd course of chemo. I agree that the frustration of not being able to do anything for yr partner is unbearable. We have 2 young children who now find it 'normal' for Daddy to be in bed most of the time which is heart breaking. I know what you mean about dont want to sound like whinging but I completely agree that we as carers/partners need to have some outlet as well. Best foot forward, chin up etc. (and have a good rant on here lol) it seems the only way through it. Hayley x
