i need someone to talk to that understands how i feel

2 minute read time.

Hi all, i`m new on here not reall sure its where i wanna b as it makes this all to real intead of a bad dream. I feel alone in my thoughtseveryone always asks how my hubby is but never how am i, well i am finding it hard too..My hubby was diognosed with GMB4 in feb 2010 when he was admitted to hospital with a stroke, after having all the tests n scan they discovered a mass in his brain, he had a biopsy where it was dicovered that it was malignant tumour, he then had surgery involving debulking of right frontal lobe, followed by 26 sessions of RT, and 2 cycles of chemo ,he was quite ill during this treatment.After the treatment was finished he seamed to recover well and has had regular 3 mthly scans and reviews all of which have given no c ause for concern excepty the one b4 this last one where we were told that they could see very slight changes but were not unduly worried as he was quite well in himself,even tho we were told that this was a very aggressive tumour and couldnot be cured only controlled so we were always aware that it would rear its ugly head again soon.He has just had this mths scan and results are on monday but i know in my heart of hearts that its not gonna be good news this time as for the past few weeks he has been getting headaches again and that is how it all started also he is getting verbally aggressive and his memory is getting worse,I find myself distancing from him as i think it would be easier to cope when the time comes so all the closeness we had is fading i dont know how else to cope with the changes he is not the same person,i sit and cry most nights when i am on my own as i feel so alone.He is 64 and i am 56 we have known each other for many years and been together for 8 of them and celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary this sunday, whats to celebrate ???????. we just get on with our lives the best way we can without thinking of whats to come ,dont know if thats the right thing to do .He was given up to a year life expectancy at the beginning and we are now in our 17th month ,Anyone out there in the same or similar  position i would be grateful for your comments.x

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Gem,Great news about the scan,enjoy yourselves untill the next scan,try not to look for signs or you will spend the next 3 months worrying,try and get out and about for the rest of the summer,in the beginning of my Petes illness we managed a cruise and it was brilliant,we have been on this road now 6 yrs knowing Pete wont get cured but we have had good times as wellas the bad,so you and your lovely fella enjoy the good times and celebrate your great scan results.Let the black cloud be blue skys for at least till your next scan,Hugs Chris.xx