i need someone to talk to that understands how i feel

I just wanted to add that hubby had refused any further treatment after he finshed his last chemo back in november 2010 as it would only prolong his life expectancy by about another 4 mths and he said he would rather have a quality of life rather than take treatment again and spend the rest of his time feeling so ill ,i have to repect his wishes after all it is his body and he must make the choices

Hi Gemini.

You both are going through a bad time. But your here on this site where nobody is alone . You have more friends on this site than you could imagine. We will support,comfort,and try and understand what you are going through. There is always someone here to listen if you want to talk or if you want to get things off your chest then this is the place to do it.  We have all been through this disease and the very special people the carers who look after us . without whom we wouldnt have got this far. So remember your not alone. whatever you do, will be the right thing. You both need eachother. Under the circumstances we hope you both

have a nice quiet Anniversary on Sunday.  Look after eachother.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

Hi Gemini,I think most of us on here feel like you so you are not alone,My Pete was diagnosed 6 yrs ago and i have sort of excepted the situation we are in,its taken me a very long time but my wonderful husband just bounces back the drs and oncology nurses are amazed,we have been in seperate rooms for months i hated it at first but Pete can stretch out and he only as to shout and im there,read our profile,stay strong and keep up the fight.Hugs Chris.xx

Hello Gemini and welcome to our site.  I was diagnosed with high grade cancer in 2007 but became very ill with infection after only one dose of chemo.   By the time I had recovered enough it was too late  so, at first, I kept thinking this nasty disease is going come back at any moment.  Well, here  we are 2011 and I decided to make the most of it rather than keep driving myself up the wall with when/if/has the cancer returned.  I just take each day as it comes and decide to make the most of it.  I don't know how you feel and your husband must be equally scared that he will not spend many happy days with you, hence his anger.  You are both coming up to your first anniversary - get your wedding pics out, take a look and remember why you married - for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.  Refuse to be sad on your anniversary and celebrate your love for eachother - it really is the strongest medicine.  Arrange something special, take the phone off the hook and just be together - no cancer mentioned, just fun and happiness for the year you have both shared.  No-one knows how long we have in life and no-one deserves cancer, which affects the whole family.  Happy Anniversary and good luck for your husband's results next week.  Ann x

Aw HUGS i'm sorry you're going through this.  Please don't worry about Monday yet, we find they alway say the opposite to what we expect, until you know and they say what is what, try not to worry.  As for your wedding anniversay, celebrate being married to the man you love, spoil him and do something you both enjoy.  I understand you want to protect yourself by distancing yourself but you may regret it so embrace your love for him with both hands.  Take care and please let us know how you get on.xx