Oh yes. It was the end of the first week hearing bad news for my little brother (term used loosely as he is 6' 3".
Dougy got home and broke his heart crying but then pulled himself together and started taking over the evening visiting so that my Mumsy could get a little rest and I could look after her. It seemed like forever waiting for the results of the biopsy and in the 5 days waiting Dougy had to endure BB who seemed to be at the hospital continually. After three days of this he came up with this description, "I've never met anyone so false in my life. It's all about her and she has never once said anything about what Gordy is going through. I can't stand her but Gordy seems to care about her so we will all have to bite our tongues and put up with it"! It takes a lot for our Dougy to not like someone and I was gobsmacked! But I knew I was right about her!
Over the coming days tensions over BB got to boiling point! Gordy told her not to come to the hospital dressed like a prostitute as it was embarrassing him! (That was the day she turned up in skimpy denim shorts, vest top and thigh high leather boots). I nearly peed my pants laughing at the 'dressed like a prostitute' line! Laughed even more when I found out she'd been told all Gordy's doorman friends had arranged to visit that day.!
The results of the biopsy came through and basically Mumsy, me and Alex (Gordy's daughter) were kept in the dark about it as my lovely brothers wanted to protect us and didn't think we could cope with the news. But I have my ways of finding out and through a very underhand way of making out I already knew got the bad news! The primary cancer was in Gordy's pancreas and they reckoned it had started developing for at least 18 months, possibly longer. The docs were shocked that someone so young had this kind of cancer as it usually affected people in their 70s/80s. Then came even more bad news. It wasn't a tumour - it was small cell aggressive which they said normally only occurs in the lung! Trust my brother to be different eh? They gave him a timeline of 3-4 months!
I was lost! How could this be happening to my baby brother? If I hadn't had the support of some very, very good friends, namely Angie, Tracy, Denise and Louise, I think I would have crumbled completely. I couldn't sleep in bed and spent my nights on the sofa with the TV on all night. Silence was unbearable as little voices kept swimming around my head saying, "Gordy is dying, Gordy is dying. You can't do anything about it". Never in my whole life have I felt so useless and worthless. All my life I had done everything I could to protect my little brothers and now I couldn't do a damn thing to help him!
The God I don't believe in took another verbal hammering from me and i called him every four letter expletive I could think of and think I may have invented a few new ones! I wish I believed. People seem to get so much strength and comfort from their faith!
Gordy was still experiencing pain and I couldn't understand why the doctors couldn't get his pain relief sorted out. Then I found out that he wasn't telling them when the pain was starting to kick in and the poor medical staff only found out if one of them came into the ward and found him rolling in agony. He said he didn't like to bother them as they were so busy!!!!!!! Gave him a gentle telling off and reasoned that they couldn't be expected to get it right if he didn't talk to them and tell them when the pain started.
Gordy was told that the care team needed to discuss his condition and results before they could come up with a treatment plan and if he wanted to go home they were happy for him to leave the hospital but only if he was happy to do so. It took another three days before the correct medication was in place and he came home. At this point our Paul came home and took over everything, shutting everyone, including my mother and Dougy out of the picture. Absolutely typical but Gordy went along with it and asked me to call a truce with Paul. I honestly did my very best and even Mumsy said she was sick and tired of the way he was treating me and so proud of the way I was ignoring it and trying to act as though we were still the best of friends.
Bloody families - can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!!!!!
Still, little bro was home and that was good for him and for all of us.
More of my story later.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you suffering from cancer or caring for a loved one.
Chrissie xxx
