Well a week ago we were all a little bit happy but today is a different story!
Gordy has had a lovely week going out with our brother Paul and as an added bonus another friend, Mongy (the reason for the nickname has been lost in the mists of time and copious amounts of alcohol down the rugby club) has also been home from Oz! Think much fun was had by all but I stayed out of the way as Paul and me do not get on!
Yesterday Gordy went to get the results of the scan they did on Thursday last week. First the good news. The tumour in his pancreas has shrunk a bit and now looks like a mishapen dried out cauliflower rather than a whopping great cricket ball! However this liver still has numerous lesions on it and they can not tell what is cancer, what is scar tissue from cancer that has been killed off and what may be good liver tissue which is quite scary.
The Onc has said if blood tests are OK again then they will carry on with the next round of chemo tomorrow but has said there will come a time when the chemo has to stop as it will kill him if they give him too much.
Due to the extent of the liver in his cancer and the cancer in his pancreas being aggressive small cell they think that once the chemo stops the cancers will start growing again and there will be nothing more they can do for him. Radiotherapy is out of the question as they can not tell what is good tissue or cancer in his liver.
This has sent my lovely brother right down again but I did the Kick Arse Big Sis thing this morning and told him that nothing with cancer is an absolute. Four months ago we didn't think he'd get out of the hospital and now he is relatively well. Hopefully he will stay fit enough for the next four sessions of chemo and this may once again help to prove the doctors wrong as he has already done and better news may come.
I'm telling him this but deep inside I don't believe it. But I do know we need to stay as positive as we can for as long as we can.
Cancer really sucks! It's shit and I hate it and what it is doing to my lovely brother and my family.
Sorry this blog entry is so down today folks. I know you are all going through hell too!
Much love and massive hugs to you all and a special hug for Annfran.
Nin xxxxxx
