So my baby brother comes home from the hospital. We are all still in shock and I wonder where the tears continue to come from. And the anger - oh my the anger is tearing me to pieces. When will it leave me I try to be calm when I am around others but I scream myself hoarse when I am alone.
BB has continued to upset people. She has tried to infiltrate (believe me there is no other word for it) my brother's friends and is driving them crazy. I finally realise that this woman does not have any friends of her own and that in itself makes alarm bells ring in my head. Why does she need to try and make friends with people she has just met? I find it all very strange. I am also quite upset with her posts on Facebook. Now Facebook has been a great help to Gordy as he gets numerous messages of support every day but the status posts BB puts on are ridiculous, self-serving and quite honestly disgraceful. It's like she sees herself as the heroine in a movie and continually bleats about how hard it is for her to cope! Our friends Colleen and Claire are ready to put her into A&E. I would go one step further and put her into intensive care - FOR A MONTH!
My birthday was a pretty sad affair even though I wanted to try and make it happy. All I wanted was to spend the day with my brothers and Mumsy. But my brother Paul just couldn't get through the day without making it all about him instead. He made Mumsy cry and really upset me but I didn't show it - wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Then I went on Facebook and saw a status from BB which read "I am sick of being ignored - sometimes I feel like I'm under an invisibility cloak!" Now forgive me for not wanting you at my birthday lunch and not wanting to be your best friend you bloody fruitloop. I've only known you for three weeks and you have only been dating my brother for three months. You are just not that important to me! Deal with it!
Of course I didn't post that but I damn well felt like it. Gordy told me that night that he had told her the relationship was finished and his priorities had to be his daughter, his grandson, his family and the close friends he had known for over 20 years. He said he just couldn't handle her constant moaning about his friends and wanting to be included in everything and she would just have to accept it. He said he still wanted to be friends with her but that was all it was.
The next day her status did me in completely. She posted the end scenes from Ghost where Sam goes walking off to heaven with Unchained Melody playing as he goes with her status reading - "Oh this always makes me cry!" MY BROTHER IS DYING OF THE SAME GOD DAMN CANCER AS SWAYZE YOU IDIOT AND THIS IS JUST BLOODY CALLOUS AND HEARTLESS! Dumped her from my friends list and told her what I thought of her. I had been holding it in for too bloody long!
But that wasn't the end of BB by a long chalk. She pestered my friend Kirsty to distraction and didn't seem to accept the relationship was over. She was texting and calling my brother at all hours of the night and driving him nuts. Did she not realise that he is a dying man and needed his rest? After several weeks of hearing about her idiotic selfishness I was on the verge of going to see her but kept putting it off as I know I would have gone way over the top. Just as my patience was at an end Gordy changed his status on Facebook to single and that has put an end to her constant bleating for attention. I think he's met up with her in a local pub a couple of times but other than that nothing!
The other fly in my ointment, my brother Paul, went back to Dubai when Ramadan ended as he needed to get his business sorted. He hasn't come back yet and I don't know when and if he is planning to return to the UK. But I wish he would. I know Gordy found a great deal of strength and support from him and he also gets this from our other brother Dougy. They seem to be able to give something I can't. Think it's a male bonding thing that us girlies just don't grasp. And I know Gordy gets support from me in different ways. Thankfully he has a constant stream of friends and goes out almost every day for a few hours. He has stated quite vehemently that he is not going to languish in bed and will carry on going out for as long as he can. He absolutely floors me and I have nothing but admiration for him.
It is now two months since Gordy was diagnosed and I have to be honest it is no easier although I don't cry as much as I did. I seem to have a constant brick on my chest which just will not go away and it is so hard to breath. The last couple of weeks have not been nice as we all seem to be getting ratty over the silliest things. Gordy insisted that Mumsy's dog had to go - he is obsessed with bugs and germs - so little Rocky, the blind Yorkshire Terrier is now living with me. I take him to visit Mumsy when Gordy is out of the house.
For a few weeks Gordy went crazy buying organic produce and I was designated main shopper. My new nickname became 'The Orgasmic Shopper'. I never realised how difficult it would be to find organic produce and I must have driven miles in the first couple of weeks. Do you know you can't get organic turkey ANYWHERE!?!?!?!?! Which is a bit of a pain as he can not have red meat - only chicken, turkey or fish! He can't have dairy either so we have been experimenting with soya spreads and the like. Luckily we can get organic pasta sauces - he loves his pasta! And I now make the best leek and potato soup you have ever tasted!!!!
Gordy has just had his third chemo session and up to now the only side effects are a little hair loss and fatigue for a few days afterwards. His appetite does not diminish and sometimes it's difficult to fill him.
The worst part of my own day now is when I first wake up in the morning and for a couple of seconds everything is fine and then I remember and the brick comes back into my chest. Our lives are never going to be the same again!
