Its not easy being a carer...especially for your Mum or someone you are really close to. Recently I have been getting frustrated with people because we ask for help and they say no problem, they come round and say 'what can I do', then call on me and my Dad anytime my Mum needs anything. One of my Mums sisters even said 'she's leaning slightly to one side, and doesn't look very comfortable' so we asked if she had moved her, to which she replied 'oh no, I didn't think I was supposed to touch her' hahahaha its not contagious!!
A few people have even asked 'so, what do you do all day?' which makes me feel like screaming...but I guess I wouldn't have understood until I was in this situation.
It all gets to you after a while, which is why I guess I'm writing on here to help 'blow off some steam'!
So...each day is a long one, but at the same time it goes so quickly its scary. My Dad and I both care for my Mum and I'm going to try to describe what we actually do each day so that if anyone wants to know, they can see for themselves...(times are approximate)
8.30am Get up, prepare Mums tablets for the day
9am Wake Mum for her tablets, it can take a while to get her to wake up enough to take them as she struggles to swallow
9.30am Attempt to get Mum to eat and drink something, this can take at least an hour most days due to difficulty swallowing, she only usually manages a small amount
10.30am Get myself showered and dressed
11am Give Mum a bed bath and help her brush her teeth
12pm Sit with Mum while she has a rest and try to talk to her, try to get her to drink
12.30pm Start preparing Mums lunch, make sure she is awake enough to try to eat something. Again, this could take at least an hour to have just a couple of mouthfuls.
1.30pm Second lot of tablets given to mum
2pm Let her rest for a bit while we have some lunch
3pm We have visitors most days so we have to 'host' them, they usually sit with Mum for a bit and then come and talk to us for a while
5pm Start preparing some more food for Mum, again another hour of trying to get her to eat a small amount
6pm Mum has her third set of tablets
7.30pm We sit down and eat, sometimes have more visitors at this time too
8pm Sit with Mum and talk to her, watch a bit of TV etc
9pm Try to get an early nights sleep
11pm Mum usually wants to go to the toilet
2am Mum needs to go to the toilet
4am Mum needs to go to the toilet
6am Mum needs to go to the toilet
And then the next day starts...
During the day we also have the normal household chores, laundry, dishes, cleaning, changing the bed sheets every two days, walking the dogs, helping Mum on and off the toilet every time she needs to go, running to and from the pharmacy every time we need to pick up a prescription, and doctors/nurses visits (which are becoming more regular). Not to mention dealing with bills, paperwork etc.
Looking at this now, I'm starting to wonder how we have time to do anything! And now I understand why I get easily frustrated with people...from them asking for a cup of coffee, to them asking what we do all day! I even snapped at my sister once when she came to me (all pleased with herself) that she had got Mum to drink an Ensure drink...I do that every day, she does it once and literally expects a 'well done' from us, I don't get a well done from her!!
Its all small things though, and I'd put up with it for another 20 years if it means my Mum is here with me :)
