Well crimbo has been up and down for pop. He got rushed into hospital on christmas eve as he took ill but they let him out on christmas morning so he was able to come to mine for dinner. He looked so ill god love him but tried his best with his dinner and in between a few tears from us all there was smiles too. Hes still not well and im trying my best to keep him comftable and smiling but things seem to be going down hill fast.
I cant believe its come to this in only 4 months, he was such a healthy man and didnt look his age at all but now looks every bit and more. Life seems so unfair and when i read the storys on here its hard to believe that so many people are suffering with this disease. I thought it would never happen to my family and i didnt realise what effect it can have on people till it happened.
Im sorry that im not in the christmas cheer like i should be more so for my 3yr old little girl but watching my pop go through this is harder than what i thought and even though the family thinks im the strong one and complement me on it daily i get home and just want to scream IM NOT STRONG and I CANT HANDLE THIS but i dont till im on my own and then carry on as normal as i possible can. All i can do is keep strong for everyone even when i dont feel it but one things for sure theres only my love for my pop and my family that keeps me going and im going to cherish every minuite of it.
Nicola xx
