Well we certainly have had a hectic month!!
Dad's surgery went very well, they were able to do it keyhole and he ended up with a colostomy. He was smiling when he came back to the ward and up and round the next day. The nurses said he was amazing, their star patient because he was so active and we were so proud of him. Wasn't to last though, crippling back ache and hip pain kicked in just before discharge.
Saw the GP who said sciatica, wasn't too sure about this, but hey ho. Saw the Oncologist last Tuesday who examined his spine, tested his reflexs, pulses etc. and said although he has secondary bone cancer, it wasn't that that was causing the pain. He was happy with the results from the surgery and dad's hip pain and leg numbness was subsiding as the bowel emptied. He wanted to crack straight on with chemo so he was booked in the next day. Bloods and xray he said were ok. We asked about treatment after the next chemo which will be his last, he said CT scan after 5 weeks and then depending on the results, what will happen next, but no more chemo can be administered for a period of 6 months. This terrifies me as it is such an aggressive cancer and dad still has the bowel cancer, I am scared stiff. We had a letter again from the bowel surgeon to dad's GP calling his operation 'part of his palliative care and that a full resection would never be an option'. We really don't want to see this in black and white. I should have intercepted the letter.
Dad is incredibly weak and continues to lose weight. His stoma seems to have stopped working, 5th day now, but no tummy swelling, pain or sickness, so we think it is the painkillers. It's a viscious circle again, food = pain = painkillers = constipation = stops eating. They didn't empty the bowel during the surgery and the stoma is at the top of the ''home straight', his cancer is in the middle, so that is still full, so I'm sure that is still putting pressure on the cancer there and causing pain.
The district nurse came on Friday to introduce herself and her team to take care of dad from here, that has scared me too. He is very ill but I still think he is ok, he looks ok apart from being thin but it breaks my heart to see him this way. Had the doctor out also on Friday and dad now has some liquid morphine, must be a very low dose as he can take it when he needs it, although he refuses to have any and is adamant he will never have any morphine. I said there are no awards for bravery on this terrible road and he needs to take whatever to make the journey easier for him. I ordered him a lumbar support back strap to help because I think his back pain is just weakness and muscle wastage, it took a while to find one that would fit under his stoma though, but it does seem to be helping him. The doctor also gave him some low dose antidepressants, more to help him sleep and they are knocking him out for hours, he sleeps a lot now, which will hopefully help.
Christmas is coming and what will it bring, Dad's last Christmas. We need to make it special, lots of flashing lights, christmas trees, lots of laughter, good food and love. Dad will have the best Christmas ever.
I hate cancer and I still don't think I've seen even half of what it's capable of.
Much love to all and thanks for reading.. xxx
