How do you cope with losing your mum.

don't know really how you cope? I lost my mum in March so I guess it is still very early days. Don't know about you Beth but I find my worst time is during the evening. Whilst at work to a degree I am occupied so it can take your mind off it for a short time.

I re live the last few weeks too they were truly dreadful. All the changes you see the weight loss, sickness, loss of mobility, confusion and body swelling. That does not include the latter stages such as breathing. I know the images are like a nightmare. I have started bereavement counselling and have been told that remembering the latter stages is very common during the early phases of loss.

This might sound weird but when I think of the good times this can feel terrible too because it is the good times that I miss. Its not appreciating the good times whilst they were present, but I guess we can say a lot in hindsight.

Bethan you probably are coping in your own way. The pain is horrible but at least the pain brings about the realisation of how much we felt about the person.

Sorry i am waffling..but you are not alone Bethan..take care

Traceyxx

Thank you tracey for replying what you have said is exactly how I feel when you think about the good times you just wish you had appreciated them a little bit more and all the simple little things you did with your mum which you miss so much but at the time you just took for granted. Also like you evenings are worse as you just have to put it to the back of your mind when your at work. Obviously wish you weren't going through this but good to know you're not on your own thank you x

I lost my father many years ago to prostate cancer and at the time it was so horrific at the end that it was almost a relief when it was over. Now I am putting my family through it. All I can tell you is that eventually those horrors fade although never completely and the happier moments of memory did take over. Try to concentrate on those as much as you can

Alll best wishes for your future.

Mike

Hi Bethan,

Dont ever think that you are fed up talking about your Mum may she R.I.P. or that people on this site will get fed up with you talking about her . We have all gone through the greiving proscess and it will take years for you to come to terms with your loss. But always remember the good times you had together. Those memories will never go away. Look after yourself.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

Hi Bethan, I'm so sorry for your loss.

What you are feeling is perfectly normal let me assure you. I think initially we are in a bit of a daze regarding it all and that's our body's way of protecting us. Then reality kicks in bit by bit.

I lost my dad a year ago on 9th April and even now it is still sinking in. I don't think I will ever come to terms with losing him. He was my best friend in the whole world and I miss him so much.

Remembering the end of your mum's life is normal too. Even now I have to stop myself thinking of this time, but the good memories do begin to outweigh the bad.

I talk about my dad all the time too because he is still at the forefront of my mind every day. I haven't really noticed if people notice that, but you do what you have to do hun. Your mum is with you in your heart and always will be. If people have a problem with you talking about her, that's their problem, but, I'm sure no-one minds. You can always save it up and get it off your chest on here. We are always here for you.

Just take one day a time, something I bet you've heard a million times over, but, it's so true.

Best wishes to you, Christine xx