Sunday...

1 minute read time.

Alan asked me not to bring the children in to see him today as the man in the bed opposite is incredibly ill, Alan has to keep his curtains shut now as he cant bear to look at him although he can hear him wheezing and being sick :(

Alan did not look as well today i thought, he said he did not think he had been drinking enough. When i got there he was eating a veggie cottage pie but when i got home he texted to say he had been sick and that and all the pills he had taken had come up :(

When i was there we cuddled on the bed and both had a little cry, you miss the closeness of that i think a lot. I helped him have a shower while i was there, i have to admit i was shocked to see how thin he was now already. 

His fingers are quite clubbed and they get very sore where the nails curl over and dig in his skin, at the edges they get red and then they weep, today i am taking in some antiseptic cream ( the hospital dont have any lol ) 

At home when i woke in the morning the puppy was still a bit lame and my daughter said she felt ill and sick and she went back to bed, so it was a horrid day at home. My sister popped round which was nice and i managed to start the artwork that has to be in London for Wednesday but it's going to be a struggle to do it by the deadline.

I wish there were 4 of me. One to sit with Alan, one to clean, cook and tidy and organise stuff, one to look after the children and animals and one to sleep and do the artwork :(

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Emily - me too - everything everybody has said. You have so much to cope with and so many people relying on you - I do hope there is someone there to support you too.

    Yes you do miss the closeness - just holding each other- I am glad you were able to do that today even though it brought on the tears - but they too are cathartic - if I didnt cry I would explode. Sleep had become somewhat of a stranger to me too but the past night or so has been better - I keep the tv on when he is in hospital and dont feel so alone that way. My cats continue to use the bath as their litter box - dontcha just love them !! :-)

    Take care of you - a big cyber cuddle to you.

    L xxx