Eden - 28 Day Biopsy

After ten days of treatment for leukaemia, Eden
was given a general anaesthetic in order for her to have a lumbar puncture, have
some chemo put into her spine and crucially to ascertain the function of her
bone marrow.  We were somewhat dismayed and concerned when we were told by one
of the doctors treating her that the consultant was not entirely happy with the
corresponding results found as regards the bone marrow.  The cold finger of fear
once again gripped our family and we, along with the medical staff, prepared
ourselves for the likelihood of Eden being placed in the *high risk* group of
leukaemia sufferers.
It was so hard to take.  She was doing so well.  My
God! She didn`t even look that ill.
  It`s strange how phrases keep going
round in your head at a time like this - one of the most repeated ones for me
was "it`s a roller-coaster ride". People say these things and you hear
them, but your  mind does not really process it correctly, they are just words
without real meaning or significance, and yet they are forever present in your
conscious and self-conscious mind.  Another word that spins around in my
frazzled brain is "positivity".  I would, and still do, go to sleep
saying that word to myself over and over again, because I believe it to be the
most important word in our lives at the moment.  I must admit however, that it
was extremely hard to be positive when Jem first told me what the consultant had
said and I had to dig deep to find any form of positivity or indeed
encouragement with which to help my beloved daughter at this truly awful time,
but dig I did, and we all talked and calmed ourselves with the
comforting knowledge that Eden was being treated by the very best consultants in
the very best hospital and if she was going to be in *high risk* group, then so
be it, we would still fight the good fight and win!

So, it was with euphoric and
mind-blowing relief when we heard last week that not only was Eden in *low risk*
group, she was now free from cancer and in remission.  We cheered, we whooped
with delight, we hugged Eden and praised her for her strength and bravery!  We
were elated.  Our happiness, of course was still tinged with sadness as we all
knew she still had a battle to fight, but the big beast had been floored,
slayed, and it was now a matter of keeping it exterminated and no longer a
threat to our precious baby girl.

...............................................................................................................................................................

Six weeks in and already Eden has been given
the best news we didn`t dare imagine or indeed hope for.  She is in
remission!

People who have been lucky enough never to have
experienced cancer, albeit themselves or through their family or close friends,
can be forgiven for mistakenly thinking that being in remission means she no
longer has to have chemo and a full cocktail of drugs to sustain health and can
happily walk into an imaginary sunset, happy in the knowledge they have been
cured.  Oh, if it were only that simple.

Being in remission means that the cancer has
indeed gone - been eradicated, eliminated from the body, but, as was discovered,
not too long ago, the nature of the C beast is that it can have the tendency to
reappear, once again reeking havoc and danger, snarling like a savage beast
determined to devour and destroy anything and everything in it`s path. 
Consultants, therefore, have realised the the only way to permanently destroy
and eradicate this horrifying disease is to construct a medical plan,to be
adhered to over a set period of time, using the most powerful drugs and
combinations of drugs in order to maintain a healthy body. Until now, I was
unaware that chemo was infact not one drug, but a combination of drugs. Each one
performing a specific task and all as vital as each other in which ever
combination they are given.  Alongside the chemo drugs, other strong drugs are
given to counteract known, and unknown, side-effects, such as sickness or organ
damage.  Steriods are also given running alongside the chemo, and they too can
have serious side-effects, which in turn have to be addressed and treated with
more drugs.  Eden will continue to receive the concoction of drugs already
mapped out for her, so that at the end of her *term*  there will be absolutely
no possible way the cancer or leukaemia can return.  If she had been put into
*high risk* her treatment would have been changed ensuring she had more
sustained and intensive periods of chemo for longer.  If she had continued to be
non-responsive to treatment, the doctors would have had to try other drugs and
treatment which would have been more difficult and potentially dangerous for
her.  That is why the 28 day biopsy was so important and we all prayed for the
best results possible.

She is currently on the second stage of chemo
which is quite intensive and for the very first time since this nightmare began,
she has been physically sick with it.  Today, I held her on my lap as she
retched and retched, trying to bring up nothing!  Her little body heaved and
heaved, but there was no more to come up, and eventually she lay back exhausted,
in my arms.  My heart wept a thousand tears for our beautiful little girl who
will always have a special place in my heart and soul.  For that moment, I hated
the drugs, the nose tube, the wigglies attached to her tiny body; I hated cancer
that had made us all revalue and review our lives and forced us to join a club
we never wanted to join, where everyone feigns positivity in the hope that it
will make a difference and I hated leukaemia for hurting our baby girl and
stopping her from running around like other two year olds happily oblivious and
free from what is real pain.