Apart from the blooming obvious, what’s wrong with me.
I’ve been reading a variety of blogs and forums since being diagnosed. They’ve all been really helpful and given me information that I didn’t want to find from Google alone, it’s never a good idea to go down that rabbit hole.
But, I’ve released that they are all emotional, some good, some bad but all have emotion in them.
Sad. Angry. Fuming. Raging. Nervous. Anxious. Tearful. Confused. Bemused. Lost. Scared. Hopeful. Optimistic. Concerned. Overwhelmed.
You get the idea.
This is where I think there is something wrong with me, it’s been 14 days and I have had no emotional reaction. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. F**k all.
Well, actually, is calm an emotion? I feel calm. Matter of fact. Someone suggested I was stoic? Someone else said I will cry soon (how far away is soon - I know I’ll cry watching Christmas Day Call the Midwife but I’m not sure that’s what people mean) but what if I don’t?
What if I just get on with it and never face up to and emotionally deal with this shitshow?
I've been told that I will feel rough as anything after my first chemo next month and that I will definitely cry then. Sure, but won’t that be because we all cry when we feel like shit?
Surely, the news that I have breast cancer should have hit me right in the emotions by now?
