Last week was all about getting prepared.
I had the oncology appointment. I got my wig. I had my lovely long hair chopped off into what can only be described as a “Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber” sort of vibe - but hey ho, it’ll will grow back (maybe!).
I was feeling ok; prepared; ready for what was coming my way! Did I get cocky? Maybe, because on Friday night, after being so sure I had a hold on everything and was in control; the tears came.
The tears came, and the snot and the whole ugly crying. It was not pretty but it was perhaps inevitable. Honestly, I don’t know what set my off - it wasn’t the Jim Carrey look; after the initial shock I’m actually ok with it. My lovely boss suggested it was more Julie Andrews - bless him! I don’t think that it was one thing that did it - it was the whole dam shitshow.
But I felt so much better afterwards - puffy eyes and all. Whatever I was holding on to needed to come out. And looking back I find it odd that it took me so long - I know that value of not keeping things in/letting it all out - maybe this is just all too much.
But I am back and I am ready and tomorrow I should, finally, get a start date for my chemo….
I also had an MRI scan today - nothing glamorous about dangling your boobs into two little holes but that’s a story for another day!
