Well, there is no hiding from it now.
I will start my cancer treatment this month. My diagnosis before Christmas meant that I could put off thinking about it until “next year”. Well guess what’s here - next bloody year!
I still haven’t cried or felt any kind of emotion other than a calm sense of getting on with it. I keep being told that it hasn’t hit me yet. But, what exactly is there left to hit me….
On Wednesday I have my oncology appointment where I will find out the results of my CT scan and agree a final treatment plan. Nothing I can do about any of that so, calm, to me, seems the best way to be handling things.
I have booked my wig appointment and then my pre-chemo hair cut appointment. I have booked a session at Boots with their No7 MacMillan support - my eye make up will never have looked so good. I also have a virtual session booked with Look Good Feel Good - for skin care.
I have a boob bible, full of all the letters, leaflets and other useful information I could possible need - with lots of space for everything yet to come. I have a cancer calendar for all the appointments that will fill my time. I had never even considered a separate calendar until a friend suggested it - that way, all the really good stuff can stay on the ‘normal’ calendar. The shitty cancer stuff is on the cancer calendar but at the end of each month I get to rip the page off and to be honest, at the moment I am considering burning each month! At the moment, that CC is fuller than the other calendar but I am determined that by the Spring, it will be the other way around.
I have a drawer for said Boob Bible and CC as well as things I might need to take with me to chemo sessions including puzzle books, colouring books, reading books, socks and snacks! All ready to go in the recommended Chemo Bag.
Have I missed anything?? Most likely, but what can I do about that. I can’t do anything about any of this apart from stay positive, determinded and calm.
2021 gave me cancer but 2022 will take it away.
