does this make me a bad person?

You are normal. When you are faced with REAL illness and pain in your life then others' 'moans and groans' about trivial things make you want to slap them. It is hard to care.

Best wishes,

KateG

i agree with kateg i feel like that to with people so your not on your own xx

Hi Gooseberry,

I think the very fact that you are asking yourself this question shows that you are indeed a caring person, not a bad one at all. If you were as uncaring about other people as you fear you might be, the thought wouldn't even have entered your head!

When something as enormous as cancer enters your life, nothing else seems remotely comparable. Other people's problems, massive as they might seem at the time to them, just pale into insignificance. This is part of our coping mechanism - we can't take their problems on board, there's just not enough room. We listen, or appear to, but they seem such trivial irritations compared to coping with cancer.

So please don't beat yourself up, your worries about not caring are groundless. The only thing I'd advise is to try not to let yourself become bitter, it's self-destructive. Get angry instead, scream and shout and cry in  private if you can, let your feelings out. Have you got anyone "neutral", like a counsellor, you can let of steam to? It might help.

Anyway, stay in touch, you can rant and rave all you like here, people will always understand.

Love & hugs,

annie

I am exactly the same, my tolerance to other people and their problems because it's not as bad as mine is so short it's not funny.  I try to think that they don' know what it's like or how i'm feeling but to be honest, i havent got the energy to even think about that either!  Don't think too much about it, people who know you and love you will understand you are hugely distracted right now. HUGS xxx

Ditto what everyone has said above. Deal with whatever you are going through in how you feel you can and don't worry about everyone else. Sending lots of healing energy and strengthxxx