I could really do with some words to calm me down. I have a rare form of cancer which is hereditary, a dominant gene which offspring have a 50-50 chance of inheriting, I have 1 son of 24, newly married, starting to forge his way in life, career etc.
He had a scan on Thursday to see if he has any tumours, and he casually told me this afternoon that the doctor rang him on Friday afternoon and asked him to go and see her tomorrow for the results. My heart suddenly went ice cold, and I swear my stomach dropped about 10 feet. I tried to hold it together until he and his wife left, but I am in bits. Surely if it had been clear she would have told him over the phone? What has upset me more than anything is that he said 'That sounds like good news, doesn't it? Because she wants to see me so quickly?' I had to turn away, I can't bear the thought of him going through what I've gone through. My husband is supportive but has said I immediately think the worst - why not wait till tomorrow before getting in a state. But how can you stop getting panicky? We are obviously going with him, but I am shaking like mad at moment. Don't know how I can even get the train up to hospital tomorrow I'm in such a state.
It is an awful situation but it isn't your fault - it's no-one's fault, it is just fate. I am waiting for genetic testing for breast cancer because my sister died of it and I have had breast cancer too. My children WANT to know and be prepared and have early check-ups etc. I do hope it is good news for you and your family.
Shitty situation but as Kate says, it's not your fault. Deep breaths - that's the best I can suggest. Feeling panicky is horrible, I know. But by this time tomorrow you'll know what's what and will develop coping strategies accordingly. Good luck and keep us informed.
Like Kate and Shelagh say its no one's fault - we don't choose our genes, we get what we are given. Its hard not to think the worse, but I'm not sure doctors often give results over the phone. Good luck for tomorrow, keeping my fingers crossed for good results.
NO, its not your fault, but as regards to giving results over the phone in my experience they don't do that, whether good or bad, I don't know why but they just don't. As your husband says there is no point in worrying until you know for sure, although as a parent its easier said than done. I hope the results are good.
