3rd day now after son's op

Wanted to say big thank you to people who commented on my blog yesterday - unbelievable how much it helps, isn't it? Well, went to hospital yesterday with my mum, my daughter in law was already there (they've only been married for 10 months) she has been fantastic, and must be so difficult for her as she doesn't speak English fluently yet (she's Peruvian) but she's really looking after him. He still had tube up his nose leading to stomach which was causing him real discomfort, he hadn't been able to sleep much, sore throat etc, but he seemed to have real fight in him yesterday, and he said he was determined to reduce the amount of morphine he was having so his 'stomach noises' would come back, and the tube could be removed. In the afternoon the sister helped to get him sitting in the chair, and when the physio came, he said he wanted to try and walk to the end of the ward, which he did. Last year, when I was going through the same thing, I remember feeling really sorry for myself, and that I couldn't feel any worse. That was until yesterday, when I saw him bent over like an old man, shuffling up the ward with his arse hanging out the back of his gown (he had pants on!) Another image that I don't think will ever leave me. Anyway, stomach is gurgling again, so nasal tube thing is out, just hope he doesn't get any nausea, but just has to take it really slow, sips of water, maybe a cup of tea later. He rang me at 7.30 this morning, and he'd actually slept for about 6 hours last night. Now he wants to walk to toilet so he can have catheter out today. My friend Karen rang me last night, and said 'I just can't stop thinking about him when he was a little boy', and I just cried and cried on the phone. But at least he's here, and he's recovering well now. Because I had almost the same op last year I'm able to help him with things like holding a towel against the wound when he needs to cough and get all crap out of his lungs, deep breathing to keep lungs clear etc. And I think today should see another significant improvement. But I look at the other men on the ward - one man has had half of the side of his face removed - and I feel so sad inside for everyone that suffers. Even if he never has another tumour I said to my husband last night that we will never be the same again, I think it changes you. I sort of feel as if I want to campaign for greater awareness of cancer symptoms, do some good, raise some money. I don't think I can ever go back to talking about getting wrinkles, or bingo wings, (I could do semaphore with mine) or 'Does my bum look big in this?' I mean, who gives a flying f**k?' as my boy would say. Thanks everyone for listening x