Tick-tock.........impatient countdown

Hi Stephy

first I wish your Mum the best of outcomes with her test results and treatment plan.

It seems that when you look on the site that there are so many who have to wait for results waiting seems to come with the territory and is one of the hardest of things as so much worry goes on between tests and waiting for results.

I guess your Mum is doing what Mums do keeping a lot of her fears and worries to herself so as not to burden you and in a way protect you and maybe she too needs to sort it all out in her own head.

I understand when you say your Mum feels her life is out of control and that others control her life that everything is in the hands of others (I am also an ex nurse) but those hands are the ones that are going to do all they can to help your Mum fight this horrible disease.

Perhaps in time your Mum maybe able to talk to you about her feelings and I am assuming but maybe you keep your feelings to yourself  to rather than worry her about what is going on for you like you are both protecting each other

I hope you have someone you can talk things through with and support you or maybe seek counselling through your GP if you feel this would help you get through this awful time 

Wishing both you and your Mum all good things

Scraton 

xxxxxx

Hi Scraton

Thanks for your reply and your kind words. Yes I too am coming to realise that with cancer comes the need for patience and what seems like a constant waiting game.

I spoke to my Mum yesterday (after I had posted) and she suddenly started talking about how she was feeling waiting for Wednesday’s results and even though it was hard to hear how worried and sad she sounded, ironically I found some comfort from the fact that she was being open and honest and happy to talk to me about it. And yes you are right I do tend to keep my feelings hidden, less so with Dad, but I was able to talk to her a little about how I was feeling to – basically told her it felt like when I was waiting for my A-Level results with that slightly sick feeling that your life was going to be changed depending on what was on the results sheet. And also spoke about how I had no idea how she was feeling and just about how I was proud and in awe of how strong she was being. All sounds a bit sickly when I write it here and somewhat contrived, but yesterday it wasn’t and it was just nice to have a proper chat about “the elephant in the room” as this whole cancer business can be at times.

Oh well, here’s to tomorrow and what that brings.............have a whole load of housework to keep me going till then!

Stephy xx