Yesterday was not such a good day. Since the GP said it might be cancer last week - first day of new term I have been office based. I could hide behind my desk, not talk with anyone, look at computer and have headphones on to block out thoughts.
Yesterday I had to 'go out into the world'. Get out of the car and say 'Right put professional head on'. Do the job, focus... First appt not too bad although feels a bit of a fog at first and names of pupils I would normally recall are a little slower in returning. Have to put in further dates to see pupils and do some training - but will I be available? Don't think that way!
Next school. professional hat on but it is slipping a bit as i know the senco really well and she can tell i am not myself - I usually bounce in like a whirlwind - my schools think i am a bit of a nutter considering I am an 'adviser' lol. I think the taste in rather brightly coloured tights and nail varnish have helped create this persona. However, I have a rather sombre appearance in grey today - though the nails are grey too!
Today - let loose again but a bit more able to keep professional hat on. In fact this afternoon felt almost normal. Focus on other people - make sure the children are supported. Do my job. I love my job.
Came home to find a package had arrived with a rather cute cuddly bunny. I have two house buns - they are very good but being cuddled is not their thing - moulting everywhere they get an A; chewing my furniture and walls A* - making a mess in their house and mine A** so a cuddly bunny that is not going to protest has cheered me up no end - it has also given my other two a bit of a break from mummy cuddles.
Anyway enough of a ramble. I hope I can keep professional head on for rest of week and next.
