Wiping out sixty nine years

1 minute read time.

Just over a year ago, I was able to blog that Gary had responded well to the treament he had recieved in at a German clinic, and was in remission.

We had some very precious months together, leading normal lives, until in September, the tumour started to grow again, and spread to his second lung.

Although he fought on bravely, he became more emaciated and debilitated by the week. 

On 17 December 2010, he lost his battle, falling asleep in his favourite chair and never waking up.

Because he died from mesothelioma which is classed as an industrial disease, the coroner had to be notified, and much to my distress, he ordered a post mortem.  Gary's poor body had been through so much, I could not beat think it being subjected to any thing else.  Thanks to his wonderful GP, the coroner was persuaded that, becausw diagnosis had been made after extensive biopies, little more would be achieved at an autopsy.

The coroner's office staff have been less than helpful in the family's contact with then.  the interim death certificate contained no less than three errors, including the spelling of his name. 

A letter was sent to tell me the inquest would be delayed until the post mortem results were recieved!  We had the distress of pointing out none had been performed.  Then, two weeks ago, I recieved notice that the inquest would be held on 10 March.  This was insufficient notice for either of my daughters to re-arrange sbussiness commitments to attend with me.  Fortunately, Gary's brother will be able to come with me.

I am aware that an inquest is currently required by law when an industrial disease is the cause of death, but surely a little more sensitivity to could be extended to a grieving family.  Perhaps, on reflection, i should not be surrised,  this is the same coroner's office which failed to spot the well above death rates at Stafford hospital, now the subject of yet another enquiry.

In what I am informed,  will be a twenty minute hearing, on Thursday morning, the sixty nine years of Gary's existence will be rubber stamped out of existence.

Anonymous
  • Aw Daffie, so sorry you have been dealing with all this aggro on top of your grieving. My sister went through the same - her husband died of  asbestos-related cancer. I think the extra 'legal' bits are necessary because of compensation liable to those affected by the asbestos. Those responsible want 'cast-iron' evidence before they pay up (they'll do anything to wriggle out of it!).

    My late brother-in-law worked in a naval dockyard and was exposed to huge amounts of asbestos so my sister eventually had a pay-out although, of  course, she would rather have had his company for longer.

    Keep strong,

    KateG

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I am so sorry your grief is being extended in this way, it must be so distressing. I havent had to go through that but find it difficult to accept that our loved one has "gone" at all. For such wonderful, strong, brave and essential people to suffer and go in this way is unbelieveable. The massive empitiness they leave behind is heartbreaking to say the least. I try to focus on life before cancer for happy memories that can never be taken away. I try to build a new life as I know that is what Ed would have wanted but the ache inside will always be there. I try to ignore anyone or anything that gets in the way of my day to day life so all I can say is focus on you and happy memories and try not to let these officials and their procedures intrude into your wellbeing. The suffering of our loved ones is over and we have to focus on ourselves and family. I hope you have a loving family and that is what is important. Gary will never be stamped of existence to those who he loved and loved him. love leisha xxx  

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Dear Daffie as you know I lost my husband to the same desease 5 years ago on the 28th of this month.

    My darling fought for 4 years and like your Gary the end was quick he just fell asleep as he went to get out of bed.

    He did have a post mortem because he had only worked with asbestos once in his life at the tender age of 17 and only for 18 months which was enough to kill him eventually. So it was needed in our case as Kate said for liability compensation which incidentally we got whilst he was alive.

    So really it wasn't necessary. Like you said it just prolonged the pain .

    The inquest was over very quickly and the coroner was very sympathetic. It was the local rag I objected to they reported it all wrong.

    I didn't once feel that Richards life was being stamped out of existance but felt the company were made to be villains.

    I know it is hard for you Daffie and it will be for a very long time. You need closure on this awful desease, the inquest should do that.

    Then you will be able to move on with your beautiful memories of your Gary.

    My thoughts are with you and I am sending you strength for the 10th.

    Love Julie XXXX

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Daffie,

    You dont need all this aggro. Things have been hard enough for you without all this. My thoughts will be with you and your family on the 10th. Look after yourself.

    Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Daffie, sorry you are having to go through all this on top of the grieving process.

    I am thinking about you.

    Take care. Best wishes, Christine xx