It's eleven weeks today since Mam passed away and seven weeks this Thursday for Dad. Sometimes I feel ok and other times i cry at the smallest of things. The other day I started to get upset over a straw because in his last few weeks dad had to drink through a straw.
Today is my son's birthday and I got teary over the fact that he'll never get a card off them again. Mam used to ring everyone on their birthday to wish them happy birthday.Went to work yesterday and they were all talking about giving their dad's cards and present's or just going to see them and I can't do that.
Everyone thinks I'm coping well, but when I'm on my own in the house or at night I just sit and cry. I know that getting back to 'normal' is supposed to help but I don't want to. I have to go into work and smile at the customer's and pretend like everything is ok. When really all i want to do is stay in the house.
I know things get easier with time because its 17 years since my sister passed away and it doesn't hurt as much. I just wish i could be sure that they are all together and not in any pain anymore.
