Seven weeks ago dad was admitted to hospital with what we thought was a stroke. By the Monday we were told he has lung cancer that had spread to his brain. The following Wednesday mam was admitted to hospital after we couldn't wake her after having 15 hours sleep. She was diagnosed with a chest infection and spent the next two weeks in hospital.
Think that week was the worst week of my life, not only did they ask us if we wanted mam resuscitated if anything happened but we also learned that dad only had weeks to months left. he said he did not want any treatment, as he has nursed my sister 16 years earlier and saw what it did to her.
Mam is now out of hospital and is in a hospital bed in their house. She is very confused. She doesn't know its her house and thinks she is looking after it for someone while they are on holiday. She also can't remember that the aneurisms affect her mobility and she can't walk. She keeps asking for a hand to get up to go to the toilet or to go out. We've tried to explain that if she gets up she might fall and hurt herself but she just says she was up earlier without any problems.
Dad has gone down hill since his diagnosis. He can still walk with a stick but finds it hard to go any distance. last week he had a really bad day and said his goodbye's to everyone. He was convinced that he was going that night. Luckily he didn't. The next day he couldn't understand why he was still here. Since then he's been up and down.
It's really hard watching them both so ill. I go almost every day because I don't know if it will be their last. I went back to work this week because the carer's are now there 24/7. I hate being there. I feel guilty for getting on with things and worry that something might happen when I'm at work.
