The End Of The World or Just Hell On Earth !!

2 minute read time.

OK !! Fed up with all you false prophets of doom, spreading uncertainty and concern among us, the true believers !! Some of us have experienced Hell more than once and prayed for the end of the world !!
 
The correct date for the end of the civilised world and the start of hell on earth is 29th August 2011, coincides with the Bank Holiday, anyone heading into Devon will experience it, 24 mile traffic jams.  As soon as you pass the last Services the kids will throw up, Granny will first suffer from wind, followed by incontinence and Mum mentions she has run out of nappies !!
 
This is around the time the thermostat and the fan packs up and the internal temp reaches 120 F - Granny does not smell good, and the kids not much better. Not sure about the dog having a weak stomach - managed to throw its dinner onto the windscreen, a good 10 ft !!
 
Its also the time you remember your RAC subscription ran out yesterday, and you thought the petrol would last until you got off the motorway. You have a flashing petrol indicator, maybe enough for 30 Min's, but You forgot the 4 hour jams !
 
Could always be worse, the engine could overheat, opps !! too late. Turn the engine off and wait 30 Min's for the car in front to move 3ft so you can get on the hard shoulder.  Only been stopped 5 Min's when all the Traffic sets of at 80 MPH and the selfish beggers will not let you back in !! - Bloody Northern Caravan Towing Grockles !!
 
Finally pick on a little old lady in a Morris Oxford with a split screen and force you way back into the flow. In my days little old ladies did not swear like that or even know those hand signals !!  - thats when the traffic  slows again !!
 
Ok Long story short - 6 hours later get to the campsite, really experienced, used to putting up the tent in the rain, mind you the wind is a problem, glad of the lightning cause the torch has gone flat ! After an hour give up , you really do need the tent poles !! - so sleep in the car.
 
After an hour you actually start to feel relaxed, think its the gentle rocking motion - very soothing. It now you realise the Blurb in the pamphlet about Electricity & Running Water is Devonian for Lightning Storms and liable to Flash Flooding !! Yes some of us have experienced hell on earth already !!
 
Some of us would welcome the end of the world, just hope its not on a Bank Holiday in Devon !!

Hugs To all - life's too short to worry !!

John xx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi John, dont worry about your bank holiday weekend, we wont be here but you can stay in our rather remote village in Devon, key is in plant pot but could you cut the grass, water the greenhouse and decorate sitting room, have a nice holiday and leave the fridge and wine rack as you found it...xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Chrisie, thanks for your very generious promise, know Devon is the 'Land That Time Forgot' and that Devonians work to a different time system,

    Err Bank Holiday Weekend is 3 days, 1 1/2  days if you ignor travelling, have a nice holiday !!  you left me a weeks work, Would need a weeks holdiday to get over the weekend !!

    Only way I can promise to leave the Wine Rack the way I found it is if you leave it empty - lol

    Hugs Mate xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    ha ha john youre so funny mate love it well im off to Scotland thursday to see my mum if i manage to make it re my blog ah well end of world eh ??? ye right !!! can shove that where the sun dont shine i will take that with a pinch of salt think ive been there before the day i got my results from the onc like everyone else on here so dont dare tell me its the end of the world i so aint going to swallow that one and im sure you aint lol!!!! enjoy as many botlles of the old plonk as you can take care hun love and hugs jen xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Oh John!

    PMSL!

    You paint a wonderful picture.  Thank goodness I'm retired and don't have to travel at Bank Holidays any more.

    Madge x x x x

  • Oh, John - love your sense of humour!

    KateG