Bogus People on the Site

1 minute read time.

OK Guys -  Finding this a bit difficult to put my thoughts into a coherent form while not offending anyone, some of whom are closer friends than I have ever had before.

We regularly get new people appearing on the site and looking to us for help and support - the thing that all of us probably think makes the Site worthwhile and  the  members are fantasic at doing because of their own varied experiences as Patients, Carers and Relatives.

Just occasionally we have a problem - out and out nutters that come on just to cause disruption - OK - not nice but is a fact of life for any site.

The worst offenders though are the people who come on here masquarading as Patients, Carers or relatives and appear to be genuine and looking for the usual support. Not sure what the kick is they get in talking to us or see us reaching out to them with the help and support they are asking for.

In some cases our own experiences uncover their lack of knowledge, experience or treatment details they claim to have had.

In other cases we do not have any 'proof' but we build up an idea that someone is 'Not Real'  in these cases we may build up a prejudice that has no foundation and a whispering campagne starts . If we really do reach this conclusion then I believe the best course of action is just to ignore them and not to engage them in conversation.

What I do think is wrong is to send  Messages that may be upsetting when - if they are Genuine, they are at the most vunerable stage of their lives - or sadly - due to the nature of this site - their deaths.

I would rather offer help and support to 99 people who may later turn out to be false than risk turning away 1 genuine person - unless I was100%  certain of my proof

Sorry I do not have any earth shattering ideas on how we can avoid the problem of the disturbed people that come on the site.

This is not meant to sound like I am lecturing anyone - but also feel I cannot just sit back and say nothing

love and hugs to all

John

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi John

    I am in 100% agreement with you. I would always prefer to offer support to a fraud than risk turning away a genuine person. I hate seeing nasty messages when someone is suspected of being a fraud, and how do you get evidence? If anyone is getting their information from an NHS source, then someone is breaking the code of confidentiality.

    Angela x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi John,

    I also agree with your post, however in a world where people come to a site such as this with the sole intention of hurting vunerable people, it is paramount that we are all vigilant.

    Apologies if this sounds harsh.

    I was one of the unfortunate people that the supposed girl that Juls mentioned, how that girl conned us all, even I could not believe someone could do such a thing, yes she did nearly destroy all trust on Macmillan, Juls is so right, but she also destroyed one dear lady, who had befriended her more than anyone else, this dear lady was very ill, her cancer had spiralled out of control, yet she still kept this charade up, our dear friend took this hurt to her grave, and I will never forgive her for what she did.

    This person, had some personal possessions belonging to our dear friend, after her death I managed to trace her, she showed no remorse for what she had done and none for the dear lady that had passed away.

    I would implore you all to be very careful and do not give out any personal information about yourself or your family unless you are sure of the person you are in contact with.

    You can all shout me down, no problems it is just my thoughts on this matter.

    Love Maryxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    hmmm

    fakes...

    well in my opinion since the site changed from what now.....and the old share site its got worse...

    this problem should be in my opinion sorted out by the people who run this site...

    i am sure the same idiots who get caught..come back on and use a different name..

    sometimes some of the stuff i have read doesnt add up...

    its so so easy to prove your genuine....

    my specialist is saffy at castle hill

    and dr di silva in scarborough

    my chemo nurse is called cherry ...

    and ANYONE that asks can have the phone number of my mac nurse...

    i think those who run this site need to make it so members have to fill in a profile......with that profile kept just for the site owners..

    i know of people who hardly reply to new members..

    the fault is not that of the members...

    we shouldnt even have to think....is this post real or not but i do admit i often wonder myself but then i would having been took for a ride a few times...

    some of the stuff i have been told from people with exactly the same illness as myself just doesnt add up at times..

    some people in my opinion even join this site and then try to scare people...

    i just keep my mouth shut now but i do get angry at the thought that fellow users get tricked at times...

    but hey lets face it.....

    this is the internet....

    and anyone can claim to be anyone on the internet on any site..

    quite a few people seem to hardley ever post on the threads anymore....others have left...

    me ?  i wish they had kept the site as it was before the change over.....

    share....and what now in my opinion was far better

    of course no one ever has to agree with anything i say or think...

    and we should be able to say what we are thinking...no one has to agree..

    all i know is its easy to prove your genuine...

    and on another subject those stupid messages that we keep getting havent stopped ....iv had 2 in the last 3 days of people wanting my email address and promising to love me...i never got one of those messages on share or what now...

    and as people can see....i do reply to new members if i think i can help....if i dont its often because i know nothing of there cancer or there treatment...

    anyway...time for my tea....

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    mary.....do you think this site has got worse  ?

    i do..

    maybe its just me....

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    It is awful what some will do to get attention or to con members out of their much needed cash, i to was struck by a story on here, and was upset at the replies she/he got, but the more alert members were right it was all a story, I think we have to be aware as Graeme has said you can be who you like on line, so bye for now ...the queen....