Clucker and baggy's adventures in Munich.

3 minute read time.

Monday lunchtime and leaving the house with much more luggage than I used to take on a business trip. Lots of extra clothes and my little blue bag full of ileostomy products, and of course work stuff and passport. Somehow I took all I needed.....but only just.

I got through Heathrow security easier than ever, I was almost hoping for a "beep" and a body search and explaining what the lump was. I was trying to remember all the things I should not eat and drink before the flight and think I must have got that bit right as baggy behaved impeccably on the plane, no inflation at all. Into Munich and a new hotel that was fab and served Weiss Beer. I met up with some colleagues from Sweden, Belgium, Hungary and Russia, people I hadn't seen for well over a year and we enjoyed beer and stories until 1:30am I gave in and went to bed.

Tuesday in the "meeting" and there were 40 of us, so a lot of hello's, gruscott's, bonjour's, etc and I soon settled into my old ways. By the way there are head tilters abroad you might like to know, but most just avoided asking anything except for those I've known a long time (20 years). The one thing that was concerning me was that my suit trousers were feeling very tight, I think the bag plus a bit of weight gain was causing this, and I worried that it might squash things. However, the day went well (apart from a headache, German beer is strong) and baggy was well behaved. We went to a traditional Bavarian restaurant on the evening and had some high colesteral food and more beer. I was sat with a guy from Brazil who spoke 4 languages and I told him being British we only needed the 1! (Only jealous.)

Wednesday, last day of meeting and still all was well with baggy and no head ache today, but I think I did myself no favours having a lot of fruit for breakfast and some yoghurt, as you will see. I got to lunchtime and whilst standing up, eating and chatting at the same time, baggy started gurgling. The noise was not like gurgling I had heard before and I thought it must be the fruit playing up, but it went on for 10 mins. Finally I managed to excuse myself and visited the toilet. OMG....... The noise was baggy leaking......

Imagine this if you will, I'm in this toilet (lucky for me it was disabled and head plenty of loo paper and paper towels) with mess over my shirt, pants and trousers and it was heading for my socks. My blue bag and luggage bag were in the meeting room so all I could do was apply paper towels which was pretty useless. Then a lucky stroke, I poked my head out the toilet door and saw my English work mate on his phone and off he went and got my stuff. It must have taken me 20 minutes to sort things out, at one stage my stoma was doing an impression of a fountain. Unfortunately I had no spare work shirts left (all creased up) and no spare suit trousers, so I picked out a selection of clothes, changed and walked back into the meeting late with luggage and new attire. When I sat down my mate said I looked like a cross between a 70's disco dancer and a clown, do you think anyone noticed? I guess they did, ha ha!

The journey home was trouble free, the affected clothes were binned, I need to buy new trousers that fit me now, but that will probably be to big after my reversal!

So there you are, my first leak with the new design bag, in a foreign country with 40 business managers from across Europe. I guess I should have cried or got down about it, but after a couple swear words I just dealt with it and I didn't feel embarrassed one bit. However, I could have done with sharing the info with my macland friends but I didn't get a spare minute and don't have a phone with the interweb.

Thursday and back to work with visitors from Hong Kong, glad they came to see me as I don't fancy taking baggy all the way there!

Tight Lines

Tim

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I believe 'Scheiße' pretty much sums up the central part of that experience. Other than that ... I'm glad other things went well, but that's a bit like "Other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?"

    I'm glad Hong Kong came to you. One continent at a time.

    Welcome home, and well survived!

    - Hilary

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Welcome back Tim, and glad everything went well, ALMOST!!

     What a tale, if we didn't laugh, we'd bloody well cry so well done and all that for getting through the sticky situation (literally).  Made me think, you are either very brave or very silly to go anywhere without your bag of supplies, they are with me always.  But, then again i'm a girl so i can carry a handbag always, mind you men have manbags these days don't they?  Do you have one or get one then you can carry it with you discretely. Well, discretely depending on the size of the manbag haha.

    'fraid you suffered from having fun on beer and beer and rich food swished down with beer.  At least baggy was good on the plane both ways, yay. Good baggy, naughty baggy, good baggy.

    What a fun sounding business trip though, wow,

    Take care

    Jan x

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Welcome home Tim, we missed you!!!!! Well, I did. Don't do it again. Oh well, ok you can go if you must i suppose...

    What I want to know is, why when you are going on a business trip, you pack a suit and a clown outfit and 70's disco clothes... ??? Surely another shirt and trousers would have sufficed? Or was that to distract the customs from baggy devices? What's this? Oh a clown suit... what's this? disco clothes.. what's... Oh never mind... off you go. 

    I was hoping to be stopped too with baggy cos  I thought it would be funny to ask them if they wanted to see my poo, but they didn't.

    Anyway, I hear you met a fellow Swede.... I hope they kept up the national image I am cultivating  of gorgeous, sensible, intelligent people? ahem cough... Next time, I'll give you some comedy Swedish phrases to say to them... just ask. 

    Glad Germany survived you and you survived Germany and doubly glad you are back!

    Big big hug to you (but not too squeezy cos of baggy)

    Little My xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hey Tired Tim :)

    Good to see you back in one piece, glad the trip went mainly well, and well done for NOT crying or breaking down - just shows we're made of tough stuff eh? :)

    Anyway, if you were disguised as a 70's clown, how could you have cried??

    Huge hugs to you and big hugs too

    xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I was going to say 's*it happens sometimes' but that would be inappropriate wouldn't it? Glad you survived Germany and well done for not crumpling into a little heap in the German lavs and waiting for the world to go away, I'm very impressed with your 'up and at 'em' attitude. You're clearly quite a practical person and anyway, I think there's not enough 70s disco clowns in meetings, it's what boardrooms are lacking in. Well done for rectifying that. All the best, Vikki x