Meet Kirsty Part 2, diagnosed with breast cancer alongside an existing health condition

Last month, we introduced you to Kirsty to share her story about coping with a breast cancer diagnosis alongside other long-term health issues.

Kirsty described living under the shadow of acute Ulcerative Colitis for 21 years before finding a lump in her breast in April 2024. In Kirsty's story, she describes with candid honesty and humour how she dealt with tests for cancer whilst managing relationships with her loved ones.

In this second part of two blogs telling Kirsty's story,  we will continue to share Kirsty's experience as she told it to us.

Kirsty's story, continued.

"I was ultimately lucky enough to have what I call  'the good breast cancer'. That is a thing. My sister had the good one too and I can’t believe how incredibly fortunate we are. Because even though breast cancer isn’t the death sentence it was in the past, there are still very evil types that will and can get you. Without getting too medical, I was diagnosed with a ductal tumour, estrogen positive and HER2 negative. The good one. The one that can be treated effectively. During my surgery they found that the tumour was bigger than originally detected so I had to have further surgery to increase the margins around the area where the tumour had been festering."

"After the surgeries I had 5 days of radiotherapy at Mount Vernon. I cannot fault the care I had there, but it feels and looks like a Victorian orphanage and the people there were terribly poorly (shocker). After day three I was sitting in one of the MANY waiting cells with a small group of people. Me being me I struck up conversation. I whinged that I felt tired on day three of my treatment and moaned about the waiting time. The lady opposite me was 87 and had vagina cancer. She was on week 5 of 6 weeks straight of radiotherapy and she wished that she had never started it as she felt so violated by it all. The lady sitting next to her, who I think was around my age, had liver and kidney cancer and was on week 4 of a 6-week daily regime of radio and chemotherapy. I felt humbled and insignificant in the face of the extent of their cancers and genuinely felt grateful for my measly five days of treatment."

"And then there was Marjorie. Marjorie told me that she had breast cancer too and because she had had a previous scary health situation, she had chosen not to tell her daughter about it this time round. Her daughter had a really high-powered job and didn’t need the worry, she said. I told her that her daughter would be livid if she knew that she was being kept in the dark, but she was adamant she was going to deal with it on her own. Marjorie was spectacular and on day 5 of my treatment I saw her at the end of the very long corridor of very full waiting cells. We locked eyes and she rang an imaginary bell for me. The end of cancer bell. A moment just between me and her and I will never forget how unbelievably kind and life-affirming that gesture was. No words needed. A five-minute conversation in a waiting room of fellow sufferers followed by that silent goodbye has profoundly stuck with me and also, Marjorie is a brilliant name…"

"It has been a year since that day I finished treatment, and there has been a huge life adjustment following it. I don’t know how I feel about my body anymore as my ex-best friend on the left is a constant reminder of what happened. I bear the scars of a life-threatening disease which has knocked my confidence and changed how I feel about my body and life entirely. I do live in fear that it will return in another area as all cancer survivors must feel too. It’s a mean and evil bastard that changes, devastates and ravages so many of us and those that love us. I am one of the lucky ones but, I know if my sister hadn’t gone through it, I wouldn’t have been so vigilant, and things may have turned out much worse."

Kirsty's tips for people living with cancer.

• "This shit is about you. No one, even people that have been through it themselves, can be inside your head and heart. I hate the word journey in this respect, but it is a journey and everyone’s is different. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should be doing it."

• "Don’t let yourself get in a pickle when it comes to the offers of lifts or company at your appointments. The person who goes with you, especially at the first meeting, is someone only you can decide on. It’s important that you don’t feel guilty about your choice, for fear of hurting people’s feelings. Get your Cancer Secretary to come with you to every appointment and take notes as you won’t be able to retain the scariness that you are being told. Dani has put her note pads in a drawer and one day we will look at them and try and decipher what she wrote down but at the time, she asked questions that I was too blindsided to ask and logged it all down. She was an excellent secretary"

• "I made the mistake of confiding in my eldest boy when I found the lump but only told my youngest after diagnosis. That really hurt him, and I regret keeping it from him hugely. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you are protecting them when in reality it hurts them more by keeping them in the dark."

• "Tell those who send you dietary advice, meditation videos and chastise you in Waitrose when they see a bottle of wine in your basket to bugger off. They haven’t got a marble sized lump in their boob that could potentially kill them. What do they know?"

Kirsty's tips for people who are supporting someone with cancer

• "Most importantly, PLEASE don’t feel hurt if your person choses someone other than you to be with them at the scary points. There will be a reason and that reason is down to them. In no way will it be an insult to their love for you. Don’t make them feel bad for not choosing you. Remember this is not about your feelings."

• "Please do not cross the street when you see them coming because you don’t know what to say. That’s just rubbish. But please also do not do not put your head on one side and make them feel like they are actual dying, or cry when you are given the news, unless they are crying too." 

• "Allow the person with cancer to make really inappropriate jokes about their condition if they want to. Humour is the best medicine. Even if you don’t find it funny."

• "Be aware that the person with 'the big C' doesn’t want to think and talk about it all the time. Don’t be afraid to witter on about anything as you would normally. My Cancer Secretary was exemplary at that and I will never be able to thank her enough."

"But most importantly of all PLEASE CHECK YOUR BOOBS – ALL THE TIME...PLEASE!"

Thank you Kirsty for sharing your story and your tips. If you missed Part 1 of Kirsty's blog you can find it here.

If you're looking for other guest blogs, we invite you to:

• meet Jane in 'Finding my new normal',
• meet Laurel and read about writing for release and renewal
• meet Brian in 'Cancer can't take my sense of humour'.

If you're looking for support with breast cancer tests and diagnosis, you can find our breast cancer forums here.