Yamour and her mum, Isaf, talk in their Mother Tongue Turkish, about some of the issues and cultural stigmas they encountered when Yamour was diagnosed with stage 4 non-Hodgkin lymphoma when she was aged 21. .
This video is part of Macmillan’s mother tongue project. (4 minutes and 49 seconds). We hope to feature different lived experiences here on the Online Community to represent different ethnic cultures and communities, so nobody feels they are facing cancer alone.
Please see an English transcript written below. There are also English subtitles available when watching the video. For additional support information in other languages, scroll to the end of this blog page.
Yamour: In the early days after I got diagnosed with cancer my father would say, “No, daughter, you wouldn’t have cancer.” “There is a 5% probability of the tests being false.”
Isaf: Perhaps he said those things to comfort himself.
Yamour: He was perhaps trying to create some hope for me, but these are not the right things to say.
Hello, my name is Yamour and this is my mother Isaf. I am 28 years old and was diagnosed with Lymphoma in 2016. I was 21 when I was first diagnosed with cancer, and it felt so strange because the word ‘cancer’ has always come with a connotation of death. I suddenly felt helpless.
Isaf: People think of cancer as a deadly thing. However, there are types of cancer that can be survived from.
Yamour: When I would tell the doctor, “I don’t feel well, I am very fatigued, my throat is aching, and my stomach is very bloated,” they would say that it is IBS.
I was left in utter shock when I found out what it was. When I would go there to see the doctor, he would hold my hands and tell me, “we will overcome this together.” He also mentioned the probable side effects from the treatments.
He told me that I might not be able to have children in the future. I only gave him one look, and he said, “It might take 3 weeks for us to freeze your egg cells. If so, we can preserve them for the next 10 years.”
“At the same time Yamour,” he told me, “You don’t have a life span of 3 weeks.” I was engaged back then, so I certainly did not want him (my fiancé at the time), to hear those things.
The doctor told me a very important thing… “In a world that you are not here, what good can I do with your ovaries?”
For 6 months, we stayed at the hospital with my mother and I’ve undergone 24 sessions of chemotherapy. I couldn’t eat most of the time and we weren’t able to do anything about it.
Isaf: I thank my God that he spared her and returned her to me. I thank God every day.
Yamour: My mother and I were in this together, since she greatly supported me and was beside me no matter what.
Isaf: Every day, I hugged her and slept right beside her. I never let her go.
Yamour: Even on days I was close to giving up, you never let me go.
Isaf: No, no, no, I have never let you give up.
Yamour: I think we grew so much closer after the timeframe when I had cancer because we both understood how instantaneous life can be. How everything can change in a single minute.
I had a finance then, and my father would tell him things such as, “My daughter has cancer anyways; you can leave her.” These are extremely heavy and hurtful words. Maybe this was because they, my father and fiancé, struggled to express themselves.
I think one of the most important things for our people/community, is to get help with their emotions.
Everything can happen in this life.
Isaf: If you have a worry, sharing it with your friends, sisters, and mother is good.
Yamour: And investigate further if you are not feeling well. Yes, you may have cancer, but that is ok. Keep on dreaming those big dreams of yours because you are not your cancer. This is just one out of many pages in your life. And as long as you live, as long as you breathe, there is always hope.
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