We watch the watch tick and seem to wait, perhaps not a good start!!
Watch and Wait was a new experience for me- it fuelled my anxiety. I could easily understand that a well balanced diet and simple exercise would help me physically. But was intrigued by the state of mind of people in Watch and Wait, and I went to investigate both that state of mind, and stress relief.
Watch and Wait gives us time for the reality of what is happening to be clear to us. It allows us to remember who we are and what is important to us. Part of this is understanding how time plays a part in all this. If we use time then perhaps time won’t use us. Time is not our enemy it can be our Allie. Diagnosis suffocates, bringing with it, fear of imminent danger and change to your family’s future. That is made worse, when the “fight or flight” reaction wants you to react, but instead slowly shuts you down. Doctors remain calm, appear not to hear you, But in truth, you are on "watch and wait" and you do not understand why. In time meeting others, learning about the disease and CLL medicine teaches you what this means.
Now, let us CLL-ers take charge.
As so much of medical speak is formed around abbreviation. Would a change of the term have assisted in my transition? If we have to take ownership of the term and lend it back to the profession every now and then, could we make it our own?
I was doodling with this as a possibility and tried to apply it. For example: Ardent Investigative Monitoring; AIM. A positive verb and noun that could immediately change the initial impression of the process. Did you know that synonyms for watch are; gaze at, look at and stare at for example, hardly inspiring.. For wait, they get worse; stay, remain, hang around, linger, stop, kill time, pass the time. Is it any wonder that Watch and Wait can be so hard to deal with in the beginning until you get past the term?
