I've been looking around the site at various blogs and discussions and I found it quite comforting to read other experiences so I thought I would do the same. Maybe hopefully it will comfort someone else one day, or at least let them know what to expect should they have a similar diagnosis to mine.
December 2012 - Opticians
I applied for a volunteering job, and part of the application was a general health check, doctor, optician, fitness etc. During my opticians’ appointment I was asked about the freckle on my eye, what freckle!? I was told it was very common and nothing to worry about, but I was referred to my local hospital just to make sure it was harmless.
February 2012 - Hospital Referral
I attended the hospital, had some eye drops, photographs, and an ultrasound. The consultant said due to the size shape and location he was borderline suspicious of a tumour, but it was difficult to tell, he offered me the choice to come back in six months or have a specialist second opinion. Naturally when words like tumour crop up, I’ll take the second opinion!
March 2012 – Specialist Referral
I attended Liverpool University Hospital for the day and after an identical set of tests, thankfully a consultant with a clue! He tells me it’s potentially Melanoma and gives me the choice of radiotherapy, a biopsy, or a six month deferral but at least this time everything is explained to me so I can make a decision. I opted for the biopsy, let’s find out what were dealing with here!
So the consultant could discuss it with his colleagues before making a final decision I was asked to come back a few hours later. At this point I was handed a booklet titled “Living with cancer”, why!? Bear in mind at this point, nothing is confirmed and from all the eye drops, I can only see the title and no other words. So two hours wandering round a hospital on my own thinking about cancer, not the best lunch break I ever had. Later that day the oncology team made a decision, it was just as easy to remove, as it was to do a biopsy, which I was more than happy about, get rid! They scheduled the surgery for two weeks later.
Family
Now I had to tell my partner, shit! I hadn’t told anyone anything up to this point, except the optician spotted a freckle that the hospital wanted to check out. After putting it off for a day or two I finally had to spill where I had been and the whole suspected melanoma story. I thought I was ok with it all but I found telling my partner very difficult. After one or two tears each we opted for the “it’s nothing to worry about, they’ll sort it approach” because to be honest, that’s what we believed. I told my family I was having a mole removed from my eye, just in case it was more than just a harmless mole, and nothing more. Mums a bit of a worrier so probably best that way. Not to mention at this stage, I had more questions than answers myself!
Surgery
Two weeks later I was admitted, knocked out, and before I knew it, I woke up with a sore eye. Fortunately the pain killers work well! My bad eye was bandaged and taped shut and it was difficult to open the other eye as my head automatically tried to open both so I opted to stay in darkness, both eyes shut, iPod on, roll on visiting! There was a funny moment when I went looking for the ward toilet with my eyes closed, what an idiot lol, why didn’t I ask the nurse!? Eventually when a nurse spotted me feeling up the walls she advised me there was a toilet in my room, doh! By the time my partner and Mum arrived, I could just about open my good eye which was nice. They brought the goodies and cheered me up. I was discharged in the morning with twelve eye drops a day during my two weeks off work. I had blurry vision and a high sensitivity to light but it improved day by day. I had to come back for the results two weeks later, and my thoughts were roughly, “I’m not worried, 26 is too young to get cancer, it’ll never happen to me!”
Results
“The surgery went well and the eye is recovering well but the diagnosis is not what we hoped for, it was Melanoma”, charming! As it’s Melanoma, I’m now waiting for the results of a gene test for Metastasis, once these results are in, then I’m back to Liverpool to discuss what happens next, expected sometime the start of May.
April 2012 - Waiting
Until this point I was completely fine and not worried at all, but given the results I decided to research it, and no matter where I look I get the same horrible reminder, 50% mortality rate within fifteen years of first discovery. I know the outlook is good, it was caught early and small, but that seems to fade in significance against the small chance the cancer has already spread. Not to mention even if it hasn’t, there is still a chance of reoccurrence and spreading at a later date. Rubbish!
