I am writing this as since I came out of hospital, both hubby and me have been finding things difficult, though hubby did not want to admit it. I called in Occupational Therapy as I could see how hubby was struggling to meet my needs and how I was struggling to also help myself and found it unfair to hubby and myself. How long would it be before he got ill as he worked shifts in the hospital, had to help me and when on night shift, had to help me before he could get to bed then up again for another shift. On day shift, I would have to either be up at the crack of dawn with him to get washed and dressed or wait until he came home after a 12 hour shift to do the same as well as wait on a meal.
Not only could I not do housework, shopping or drive, I needed help with personal care, Mobility and making meals.
It was time to call in some help and although it may be only for a short while, I knew that it may also be for a while longer as I had another 3 operations to face over the next year as well as recover from the one I just had.
Occupational Therapy were contacted and:
Bathing/Showering = Shower rails to be put onto wall and a bath seat which can be lowered, although I have to watch the pressure on my buttock and only lowered when I can get to sit at straight angle.
Toilet = A higher softer seat with rails is to be provided as I have difficulty with balance and at moment cannot sit.
Getting in/out of bed = A machine that will raise the top of the bed = enable me to get in/out better as having to shuffle, unable to turn and difficulty getting up to sit.
Up and down the stairs = One of my friends put up an extra 2 rails for me; another at opposite wall and one at bottom of the stair. Need to take one step at a time going up and down.
In and out of a chair = Got an air cushion from District Nurse which helps to relieve the pressure on my leg and buttock. This is ok for chair in living room and also use it for car, though it is difficult to bend.
In and out of house as got steps at front and back door = O.T. able to get rails put up either side of step, if joiner can't get the two rails up as got PVC, one will be put up. They need to be at a certain level.
Meals: Hubby cooks these as I have difficulty bending, lifting, stretching carrying. Getting a type of trolley to wheel from kitchen to living room to my chair to have a meal at a proper level. Unable to sit at table re hardness of seats and getting up from seat. Balance difficulty re Oestiopenia.
Driving = Unable to do until able to do an emergency stop and turn the steering wheel fuly round as well as put on handbrake properly. Relying in hubby to take me to places and appointment. Some friends have also offered to help.
Carers Assessment: Hubby actually realised during the visit just how we were struggling and therefore actually saw the need for this and possible help for me when he was working. It would help to ease his mind and take of some of the pressure for him. = Social Worker will be visiting and may well be means tested.
With regard to DLA = This is still getting debated as apparantly DLA seems to think that Breast Cancer can be cured and therefore not a disability, but I have to go through another 3 operations due to Family History, have Oestiopenia, bordering on Oestioporosis, have had previous operation for 2 discs in lower lumber area and have two other discs degenerating at top of spine. My needs will continue for another 6 months at least and have been required for at least 3 months previously.
All the O.T. stuff above will be put in over the next few days and if we feel we don't need any of it in future we just need to give them a call and they will come and take whatever we don't need away.
What a relief this was for me and hubby. The hardest thing was to admit to ourselves that we did need help and that it was ok to ask for help, rather than put extra pressure and strain between our relationship.
I hope this helps others also.
