Well this time next week, I will have my bag packed and ready to go in for my operation, but I cannot get rid of this sore throat and now have a cough. Feeling nippy at breast and underarm. Bones are sore not like when you getting flu though. Its cold and damp at the moment so maybe its just the oestiopenia etc. Will mention to Breast Care Nurse when I see her today. Family also getting a support meeting, they all seem to think they do not need any help, but I know they feel helpless and frustrated and scared also, just wish they would admit it and talk to each other. Mums know these things and can see it a mile away. Also getting a MacMillan Grant via application from Breast Care Nurse and filling up a DLA Form with the full details etc. Time to put it all down and how affecting me on a daily basis and what help I need. Good News is that I got my Blue Badge renewed.
I have been asked if I would help start up a Breast Cancer Group as there is a need but not one at present, so will talk with Breast Care Nurse and see what we can both do.
Also today, had a Family Support meeting with Breast Care Team and now I hope that my daughters have more peace of mind and a better understanding of what is going on and will be happening. Eldest daughter seemed to be more relaxed and youngest seemed to be more aware. Love them boths to bits for going along. Hubby seemed happier also and as a man just goes with the flow. I also have a better peace of mind knowing that my daughters and hubby are not afraid to help me .
Also got my aunts address up in Aberdeen, so wrote a wee letter to thank her for her notelet etc and posted. Hope she gets it and maybe phones. Good day overall, but absolutely shattered by time got home.
Wednesday 22nd September 2010:
Yes its getting quite emotional here and running through all the family. My daughters are in tears with fears and some of it is rubbing off on me as I have tried to stay so positive. We had a family support meeting on Monday, but reality is kicking in all around...........so scared.I feel once more, I am trying to keep everyone else calm and reassured that everything is going to be ok with the operation, but it is so so hard.
Hope I come through it all. I have even written a letter to my hubby with arrangements in case I don't make it and will be taking to hospital with me to give to nurses to give him or give me it back. Guess just a precaution, I don't know, maybe its me having a back up plan for them to fall back on. Arguing within myself at the moment also.
Have just watched "The Waltzing Waters" on the internet again to relax me as feeling so tired and drained
