29th Feb 2012: It's a leap year yeeha. Wonder if my daughter will ask her boyfriend the big question??? Anyway wee update, been kind weird since weekend. Good days managed to get outside in garden to soak up some fresh air and get some Vitamin D. Temp only 35.6. Had a horrible scare as pulse rocketed to 102 when resting and thought heart was going to jump out and batter against the walls. B.P. was up to 170/70 and have been violently sick after managing to eat solids two days in a row, thought I was doing good. Must of caught a bad bug at least that's what I hope. Back has been really sore after bowels moved since operation and think it's because everything is settling down after the operation as they had a really good look inside as they blew my tummy up with the gas. Plus now I am eating a wee bit better, I better watch not over work the bowel as it needs to adjust after almost two years of soft foods and drinks, so will keep eye on it. Otherwise, I am seeing more glimpses of me back every day and I really do want to see more colour in my face as still gaunt looking and put more weight on. Maybe I am beating myself up again as it's only been 3 weeks since my last operation, but I am resting, though not sleeping again till early hours of morning, staring at the ceiling is a constant problem night after night. Severe sweats are still ongoing and my left armpit is so sticky these days, despite the soap I got from the doctor, just not helping. Can't use deodarent on this side as no lymph nodes, someone mentioned to try Soya from Herbal shop. Hair has had two cuts and is now starting to sit better, though I can't do it everyday, just like I still not got into the shower properly for two years. Dressing have come off after problem with stitches and now healing. Would love to have a braw soak in the bath with bubble bath etc, but too scared as been told to stay away from all perfumed products. It's my 52nd Birthday this weekend and I hope it is a really good one as the last 2 have been pretty bad. Now thats the operations finished, all I can say, Is that in one way I am so full of gratitude that I come through it all and feel so lucky as a survivor, hopefully that is exactly what I am.
