Why cant i speak

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

27 Jun 2010

Why when someone asks how are you cant i answer honestly....

I am stuck at home every day and night on my own, usually crying. I really dont know what to do. Im stuck.

Im so dissapointed in life i cant even explain it right. WHY. WHY my little girl she was only 4 and had her whole life ahead of her. When i was with her at the end watching her suffering was the worst pain i have ever felt. I would have done anything to take that pain away or even swap places with her.

Now shes gone there seems to be no life for me now, i dont want to live on without her - so making myself ill seems to be the way im dealing with it - like it takes my guilt away. I know that sounds silly but thats how i feel. Empty inside seems to be the new thing like a huge part of my inside is missing. Im so angry that she has been taken from me so quickly after what seems like only days.

Sorry for going on but i just had to get thats out.

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Dear Megan, don't be too hard on yourself hun. You have been through so much in the last six months. I cannot begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now.

Do you have any support at all? Have you been offered any counselling?

I so wish I could take away even just a small part of your pain, but all I can say is that we are all here for you any time.

Sending lots of love and hugs your way.

Christine xx
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

Dearest Megan,

I just wanted to say that I couldn't begin to imagine what you've been going through and so I don't know what I could say to make you feel better or make the pain go away but I do want you to know that how you feel does matter and I'm caring about you and thinking of you with you love and a big hug x
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

Dear Megan - There just are no words. We're all here wrapping ourselves around you and holding you. Don't make yourself ill. Get help. Find a good counsellor to talk to right away. You are in grief. Sending you much love.

Mo
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

Dear Megan,

I can just re-iterate all the others have said. You have had so much in such a short space of time. You expect to lose your parents at some point, but you don't expect to lose your own angel. There must be some sort of counselling available through your Gp. Apart from that, stay with everyone here. Try to see us as an invisible blanket to wrap around you. That is how I see AA., when I have been struggling with that thing, before I even came into the world I am in now.

All love,

ALi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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