The weekend after session 3 of FEC, On the positives I still have my hair, my teeth, ny gums and most of my stomach contents. However I'm incredibly tearful at anything and nothing. Many of my friends seem to have lost parents over the ast few months and so I am very luckyt to have 2 able and fighting fit parents who are taking care of thmselves and able to give me support via webcam and phone from 500 miles away. Children's nativity pays and toy services hve me bawling my eyes ot and last night I watched "the Soloist" and went to bed sobbing waking my poor hubby up with the self inflicted trauma!
I suppose the three days I feel so dreadful every sesion is an easy way to see how hard it is for people who suffer (in whatever way) for indiscriminate amounts of time. I know that come Monday morning I will start to feel better but when the cause is not as definite as poisoning through chemo the fear and traumas far more difficult to manage.
It has also made me less sympathetic to those who moan about really superficial stuff. I want to shout at tem to get over themselvs and start looking at thew big picturethat doesn't have the word "I" stuck at the front and centre. However that just creates negativity in me so I'm trying to let it all go over my head. Their worries are theirs - I'm not letting them get me down. The future is bright - the alien was captured, the demestos approach to sarching out any of its debris is harsh but manageable and Spring is quickly approaching with all its new chances and opportunities for growth.
In the meantime be nice to everyone as you never know what will happen tomorrow and do you want any more regrets?!
