Well, hello everyone, have just re-found how to do this! Anyway, hope you are all as well as you can be and enjoying the Olympics. As some of you may know I have been waiting for a reconstruction (DIEP) since Feb. 2011 - it was cancelled 3 times due to the long waiting lists and immediate recons. being done. I had two pre-op assessments and the final pre-op I mentioned I had started to get chest pains and was sure this was down to anxiety. So my surgery was cancelled a fourth time on the spot and was told I needed to go back to my cardiologist for another angiogram. I know Broomfield are doing a great job and have my life in their hands so that comes first, but still X?<!!!^$£@! Its now August 2012 and I've had two angiograms in the space of 4 weeks to make double sure! My stent is fine, there's just a little furring on the outside where it joins my artery - NOT on the inside and the reason I've been getting these pains is because of a spasm? So here I now am, ready and wanting to have this delayed procedure. My husband is petrified, my daughter thinks I'm going to die and I'm feeling very selfish to want this. In my heart I no longer want to be a part of breast cancer and seeing my mutilated body with a fat arm is a VERY strong reminder; I know my arm will always have lymphodaema, I can live with that but I just feel so crap having one dangling breast with the other side needing a 'piece' put into a bra to make me look 'okay' on the outside. My husband loves me no matter what but he doesn't understand how I feel about myself as a woman. He says I should be grateful to be here after 5 years and make the most of it. I'm only 52 and see this big step as a way of moving on and taking control of my life once again. I look like I've eaten the entire contents of the street due to comfort eating and wanting a nice big fat belly for the surgeon and just don't know what to do. Please, has anyone wished they hadn't had breast reconstruction and why? Has anyone had this kind of experience I can draw on. I don't even care about having a nipple, just want a mound and the experience of being able to buy nice underwear again. In any event, congratulations to all you lovely ladies who have triumphed whatever decision you have made and keep well. Hope someone can help unravel me!
